It’s not destiny, it’s a choice

Have you ever heard someone say, “I guess it’s just my destiny…” when discussing disappointments in life? I remember the story of one individual that frequently expressed his career disappointments. He was within a few years of retirement and lamented the fact that it seemed that everyone had passed him by. Whereas he believed he had worked conscientiously to serve his company, his title had never risen to that of younger, less experienced colleagues. He ultimately came to believe that “it was just his destiny” to fall short. He failed to realize that his own lack of commitment, dedication, and overall effort was largely to blame for his limited career.

Certainly, there are circumstances in life that we cannot control. Accidents occur. Downsizing happens. Pandemics emerge. Though we like to think so, we do not control every circumstance in our life. When things happen that are unwanted and unexpected, we can become upset, disappointed, and defeated. However, the one thing we can control in any situation regardless of our circumstances is our attitude. Wade Boggs, the Hall of Fame baseball player once said, “Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us but the attitude we bring to life.”

So, you see, to a very large degree, our lives are largely not the result of random events that we neither control nor appreciate. Rather, our lives are defined by the choices we make, whether good or bad. When we learn this critical truth, our lives can change in ways we might never have considered. For example:

  • Your path in life is not defined by the disadvantages of your childhood, but by the choices you make to overcome them.
  • Your career is not defined by your title, your salary, or your office location, but by how you choose to treat others and the positive impact you make during that career.
  • Your relationships are not defined by mistakes you have made in the past, but by how you’ve used those experiences to grow and become a better person.
  • Your impact on others is not defined by what is visible on the outside, but by the visible manifestations of the character that resides on the inside.
  • Your future is not defined by the past, but by the decisions you make today.

Today would be a great day to put aside the belief that we have no control over destiny and believe that, to a significant degree, we determine our own destiny by the decisions we make.

Below are some thoughts from others that should also help you understand your own responsibility in creating your own destiny.

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“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” 
― Steve Maraboli

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” 
― William Jennings Bryan

“You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!” 
― Steve Maraboli

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” ― Albert Ellis

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