Recently, my wife’s High School celebrated an All-Class Reunion Weekend. It has been a number of years since she attended a reunion, so we decided to attend. The event was wonderfully organized with a mixer on Friday night; honor breakfast, school tours, a band variety show, and a concluding dinner/dance on Saturday. We had a great time and had the opportunity to visit with many of her old (and getting older) classmates and friends.

I was mostly an observer during the weekend. Certainly, there were a number of individuals there that I knew, but I really had the opportunity to see old classmates interact and listen to their conversations. It seems that most of the individuals attending were from graduating classes from the 1960-1980 range of years, so the age range of attendees was primarily around 60-85… old enough to have experienced life and gain the wisdom that comes along with the years. I thought it might be insightful for some if I shared some of the observations and thoughts I gathered during those two days.

1. No one talked about their health. If you are like me, it seems that when I am in any group of individuals around my age, much of the conversation revolves around recent surgeries, aches/pains, medications, insurance, and who is suffering from what. I don’t think I heard one conversation about any of these topics all weekend! There seems to be something about gathering with old classmates that makes complaints about health irrelevant. Folks were much more interested in remembering those days back in high school than their latest knee replacement. Why is that? It could be that deep down, we realize that there are things much more important than our own maladies. When you know that you may only have a minute or two to reacquaint with someone from your Freshman English class, a hug or smile or memory has a sweetness that trumps our current state of physical disrepair. The conversations I heard that weekend were almost entirely positive, encouraging, and uplifting.
2. The teacher that everyone talked about was the one that was most challenging and difficult, not the one that made it easy. I would have expected that conversations about high school teachers for individuals 50 or more years down the road would be about teachers that made school easy. Which teachers never assigned homework? Which classes required the least effort? No… most of the “teacher” talk at this reunion was about the teacher that challenged students the most. One particular teacher was extremely demanding and had very high expectations for students. She was not afraid to dress down students that failed to do required work and even slam her cane on her desk to regain the attention of students. In short, a demanding, harsh, and challenging teacher was more respected and loved than others that made school too easy. It could be that these “experienced” individuals could better understand later in life that this teacher better prepared students for reality. The lessons she taught were more about life preparation than the English literature. How would life have been different if we could have understood how high school was simply the bridge between childhood and a life of responsibility?
3. No one spoke about their success, career, possessions, or accomplishments. After a lifetime after high school that encompassed college, work, relocation, family, loss, love, happiness, and regret, there was absolutely zero talk of success designed to impress. Perhaps 10 or 20 years after high school, there is a need to convince others that you are on the road to great success in life. But, as those days are behind us, could it be that our focus is on those things of greater importance? During this weekend, talk of family, memories, hobbies, experiences, and contentment with life was prominent. Oh, how refreshing!
4. Patriotism was on prominent display. One simple act during the weekend illustrated for me the love for country of most aging Middle Americans. At the start of the band variety show, the alumni band played the Star-Spangled Banner. Everyone in the crowd stood and many sang along. I observed one man confined to a wheelchair struggling to at least sit as tall as possible during the anthem. Seeing him struggle, individuals on each side of his wheelchair went to his side and physically lifted him to a standing position and held him there throughout the song. He saluted the flag and did his best to sing along. What a display of patriotism and love I saw displayed by these three! It was also gratifying to see many attendees during the weekend wear service caps, pins, or other items to display their pride in our country. I was honored to celebrate with so many patriots!
5. People remembered and talked about how they felt or were treated in school. I loved hearing the stories and memories shared throughout the weekend! There were stories of pranks, boyfriends/girlfriends, cars, sports, and activities their parents never knew about. Most meaningful to me were the stories of how individuals remembered how they felt or were treated during high school. For example, one of my wife’s friends from high school who she had not seen more than once or twice in 50 years came up to her and said, “I wanted to thank you for how you treated me in school. Not everyone treated me the best, but you were always so nice to me, and I have always remembered that.” What a blessing! Many times, we are just not aware of the impact we have on others. It reminds me of the quote by Maya Angelou who said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I’ve never seen this illustrated better than I did during this reunion weekend.
6. Everyone seemed to know that time was short. There was a real sense that everyone present realized that time had grown shorter for us all. There was recognition of classmates that had passed and many memories of those individuals. You might think that this “press of time” would create a feel of urgency or regret. However, it appeared to me that a real sense of peace and melancholy was evident. It was as if everyone could be at rest knowing that they had done their best; that they had weathered the storms of life; and that most pressures of life had eased. The mood I sensed was that everyone realized that our best approach to life was to live in the moment, cherish the time, and cherish the memories and relationships that still had meaning even after half a century. There was a recognition that some in the group would not be present in another 5 or 10 years. So, if there was something that needed to be said, there may not be another opportunity. To me, this was a beautiful expression of love and remembering some of the best times of our lives.
7. Everywhere we went around town brought back mostly good memories. We had some time during the weekend to drive around our hometowns (mine was only a few miles away, so we visited there, too). It seemed that every block or building in town brought back memories… “That is where my friend lived. We used to play ball in that field. The American Legion hall used to be there. That is where we could get a cherry Coke for a dime. I remember when the whole street was flooded. I used to mow that lady’s lawn for $2. My friend’s Dad owned that business.” It feels that nothing around town now is as nice as it was in those days. But then again, time does affect memory.

I know that on our way back home after the weekend, my thoughts focused on gratitude for the people and events we experienced. I was thankful that we made the decision to set aside time to say “yes” this time and go. But, most of all, I was thankful that I had the opportunity to grow up in a place and time that still brought back sweet and special memories.