Today, let’s begin by looking at a true story conveyed to me early in my working career:

A True Story

A number of years ago, I recall a member of senior management telling about an event occurring at another plant. During the final inspection of a lot of glass-syringe injectable product, an error in the labeling was detected. A decimal point was in the wrong place. Instead of stating the dosage as 0.2 mg/mL, it stated 2.0 mg/mL. This was a potentially fatal mislabeling error with no opportunity for rework. The lot disposition was determined to be “reject.” 

This labeling error was expensive with a total cost of $2Million. As expected, this was a significant error that was felt across the company. So, the Vice-President, Operations with responsibility for that plant made a visit to the site. Upon meeting with the Plant Manager, the VP said, “I would like to speak with the individual responsible for this error. I want to know who stole $2Million from the company!” (Apparently, the investigation determined that multiple systems and procedural failures had occurred, but there was one individual that had the greatest role in failing to detect and prevent the error.) The Plant Manager asked, “So, you want to speak with this individual because you are going to personally fire him?” The VP responded, “No, I want to speak with him first.”

After speaking with the individual, the VP told the Plant Manager and Head of HR, “No, I’m not planning to fire him. This individual is extremely remorseful. What I did, after hearing his explanation, was to to encourage him. You see, there is probably no one that feels worse about this than him. These last few days have been horrible for him. So, I wanted him to know that we’ll support him in the future. Do you know why I feel this way?” The Plant and Manager was stunned, but stated, “No, I don’t really understand.” The VP said, “This guy will never make this mistake again. I guarantee you that he will become our most diligent and most competent individual in the future. Sometimes, a leader needs to use the heart as much as the brain. In this case, my heart tells me that firing him would be a mistake and we would lose an opportunity to gain a more trusted and skilled employee.”

The individual that made this mistake went on to become one of that company’s best employees rising in responsibility to eventually serve as Director, Manufacturing in charge of that very plant.

Often, when we are in a position to implement actions to prevent a recurrence of an issue, our response is to think only of the short-term situation we face. Taking definitive and direct action to address an issue gives “closure” and satisfies the need to send a message. However, when we fail to take a long-term view of the situation, we may miss an opportunity to do greater good.

When dealing with people, first of all, we must determine if the error was an honest mistake or an intentional one. For example, an individual that intentionally seeks to harm someone, lie, deceive, commit a moral failure, or willfully inflict damage, pain, or injury may not deserve a second chance. However, an error in judgment, or due to poor systems others control, or due to distraction/fatigue/illness, or due to something other than moral failure may merit a second chance. I usually consider heavily the motivation and demeanor of the individual when interviewed after-the-fact. When you see a deep sense of regret or remorse, I tend to look more favorably at mercy. The ultimate decision is difficult. Unless I clearly see the root cause being intentional or willful failure, I would often look at offering a second chance.

As you can see from the story above, it is important to consider the long-term impact of offering a second chance. In the story, the mistake made was a turning point in the career of the individual involved. He used this event as a catalyst for a successful future of growth and leadership. If he had been dismissed at the time, it might have been devastating for the individual AND the company would have lost a significant talent. The short-term gain of make a point, satisfying a need to “fix the problem”, and creating an example for others may have been overwhelming overshadowed by demonstrating a humane and merciful approach.

In short, when faced with a decision about whether you should offer an individual a second chance, ensure that you consider all factors, including the long-term benefit to the individual and organization. Ultimately, you’ll want to apply the the measure of mercy to the individual(s) involved that you would want shown to you, if you would find yourself in a similar circumstance. The final test should always be… how would I want to be treated if the roles were reversed? When you apply this as the standard, you will rarely make the wrong decision.

I am thankful for the second chances I have been given in life. When we have a chance to learn from our mistakes and apply the learnings to our future, we become better. Demonstrating forgiveness can result in benefits and relationships far richer than may ever have occurred otherwise. Is there someone in your life today that deserves that second chance?

Have a great and rewarding day!

If you are like me, you are tired of hearing individuals blame others for their mistakes and failures. It seems that every day, we see a news story in which some individual attempts to deflect responsibility to someone else for something they should have or could have handled personally. In fact, individuals that fail, in these cases, often try to completely flip to situation to make themselves look like a victim.

Accountability is one of those “key attributes” that employers always list when they seek key leaders. Yet, as we have all experienced, it is the rare individual that will step up and assume their share of responsibility. Someone once said, “A good leader always assumes responsibility when things go wrong, but highlights the team when things go well.” Too often, today’s leaders would do just the opposite.

We have probably all heard Jimmy Buffet’s hit song “Margaritaville”. We probably know most of the lyrics and could sing the song in our sleep. However, have you ever really listened to the lyrics carefully? Did you realize that this song actually includes a good model for assuming accountability? Let’s take a look today and see if there is anything we can apply to our own lives or convey to our teams:

• “It’s nobody’s fault” – One of the first things that people tend to do when things go wrong is to say that it was unavoidable… nobody is to blame. Or, worse yet, it was his/her fault. The problem with this approach is that when we think something is unavoidable, we tend to believe that there is nothing we can do in the future to avoid a similar problem. When no one is to blame – when we turn away from the real cause for the problem – the problem will likely recur over and over. Or, when we blame others, we risk ruining relationships and damaging future opportunities to collaborate. Here is what the song says about this approach:

Nibblin’ on sponge cake,
Watchin’ the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin’ my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp-
They’re beginnin’ to boil.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,
But I know it’s nobody’s fault.

• “It could be my fault” – One step of progress in this accountability model is to accept the possibility that you could have some of the blame or responsibility for the issue. Realizing that you at least share the responsibility is an admission that you at least had a role in the outcome. When you begin accepting some remnant of responsibility, you are admitting that there is some action you might have taken that could have resulted in a better result. Now,  you have something to work on before this occurs again. Let’s see what Jimmy Buffet says about this:

Don’t know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it’s a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven’t a clue.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,
Now I think, – hell it could be my fault.

• “I know it’s my own fault” – Ultimately, assuming full responsibility for events under your direct control is the definition of accountability. And, when you do, you have the opportunity to both learn from your mistakes and identify actions that might prevent a recurrence of the problem. Many individuals never get to this point of maturity. Instead, they become caught in the cycle of either blaming others or deflecting their role in the outcome (unless it was all positive, of course) and running from the event as fast as possible. Thus, the cycle will soon repeat. We see in the song that the singer eventually accepts responsibility for his fate.

I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there’s booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,
But I know, it’s my own darn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, And I know it’s my own darn fault

Accountability is an important concept that parents often fail to teach their children. Too many parents, these days, believe that their children can do no wrong and jump to the conclusion that any issue with their kids is the fault of someone else (teachers, coaches, etc.). This teaches just the opposite of accountability… this teaches the art of blaming others. This teaches kids to be victims. We need to help others understand that we must all be willing to give an accounting for our actions, whether good or bad. There is always someone that we must answer to. As leaders, we model this well when we step up and accept responsibility for decisions we make.

Today is a good day to consider how we fit into the Margaritaville accountability model. Are we quick to blame others or believe that no one is to blame for anything that goes wrong? Do we accept that we have some responsibility, but we alone could not be totally responsible? Or, do we willingly accept our share of the responsibility for our decisions and actions? Maturing to the point of appropriate accountability will serve us well in any situation we find ourselves.

Remember, today could be our best day yet!

One day over the recent holiday period, my wife and I were hosting our 7- and 4-year old grandchildren for the day. When they arrived, they raced to our door each wanting to be the first to open the door. On this day, the younger child arrived at the door first and burst through the door to our welcoming arms. The older child stopped on the deck, sat down, and started crying. When we asked why she was crying, she said, “I wanted to open the door first because you are always so happy to see us.” To us, it seemed like such a minor thing to come through the door second, not first. But to her, it made a huge difference for that day. Children often lack the ability to keep things in proper perspective. However, adults also struggle with perspective. Our inability to master it can significantly impact our happiness, success, or ability to cope with life. Today, let’s look at ‘perspective’ and why it is so important for us to master.

Perspective is often defined as a point of view or particular way of considering something. It is an ability to take a few steps back and look at a situation or something with different eyes… with a different focus. When we lose perspective, we become so close to one thing or to a particular viewpoint that we fail to consider any other way of looking at that situation. As a result, a lack of perspective can prevent us from solving a problem, making an impact, or addressing a concern. At its worst, poor perspective can result in a complete lack of focus and failure.

So, having the ability, or skill, to view situations with a broader perspective (e.g., by taking a few steps back and viewing the situation from a new viewpoint) is essential to our success in work, life, and family. John Sununu (former Governor and Senator from New Hampshire) once said,

“Perspective gives us the ability to accurately contrast the large with the small, and the important with the less important. Without it we are lost in a world where all ideas, news, and information look the same. We cannot differentiate, we cannot prioritize, and we cannot make good choices.”  

Why is perspective so important? What are the benefits of seeing situations with a broad perspective? Let’s look today at four key elements of perspective:

1. Perspective allows us to benefit from our experiences from the past – When we get so close to a situation that we lose perspective, we often fail to apply the skills we have already learned to deal with today’s problems. Let’s face it… we have all made mistakes in the past. Hopefully, these mistakes were catalogued and now can be used to help us avoid similar mistakes in the future. When we fail to retrieve that prior experience, we are bound to repeat history. When we learn to step back from a situation and consider how we dealt with similar ones in the past (either successfully or unsuccessfully), we have a step up on conquering today’s events.
2. Perspective allows us to look at the future impact of situations or events – Today’s “big” challenges often become much smaller when viewed through the lens of the future. However, failing to utilize this lens can fool us into thinking that our situation is bigger, or worse, or more significant than it really is. Being able to view any situation from the viewpoint of tomorrow… or next week… or next year can make a remarkable difference to how we see things today.
3. Perspective ensures that we consider the impact to people – When we see today’s challenges too closely, we often fail to consider its impact on anyone else. We become focused on self when we fail to utilize a proper perspective. Then, with the focus totally on the impact we experience, we may fail to recognize how our actions can impact our teammates, our family, or our friends. When we step back, other people start appearing in the picture. And, when we start to see the viewpoint of others, our actions often change… for the better.
4. Perspective ensures that we stay focused on the purpose – I can recall many times in my own past when dealing with a particularly challenging work situation that we became so focused on today’s issues that we forgot complete our purpose, or the ultimate goal. When we lose perspective, we might win the battle, but lose the war simply because we shifted our eye off the ball. Perspective is ensuring that our every action is balanced against our ultimate objective.

So, how can we master perspective? How can we ensure that we always take that step back to broaden the picture? I believe that if we remember to ask 4 key sets of questions in any challenging situation, we’ll always retain a proper sense of perspective:

• Have I ever experienced anything similar in the past? How did I deal with it that can help me deal with my challenges today?
• Will this really matter tomorrow? Next week? Next year? If this is really not that important, why am I stressing so much about it today?
• Who else is impacted by this situation? How can I ensure that they are not harmed? Would involving others help get a better result or help me deal with make better choices?
• What are we really trying to accomplish? What is the mission? How can I keep my eye on that ball and not be deflected by today’s challenges?

Life is already challenging enough. When we fail to exercise proper perspective, we are much more likely to make poor decisions or incur significantly more stress that is needed or necessary. Learn to take that step back in any key situation or challenge to ensure that you have mastered the essential art of perspective.

“A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.”           – Allen Klein –

I am writing this on the eve of another new year… 2018. But, before I go on to the next 12-month chapter, I pause to think back. How will I remember 2017? We all know that some years are more memorable than others. Some years are more vivid and clear than others because they brought exciting, challenging, or happy times, but there are some that, sadly, bring back too few memories.

In 2017, I walked beautiful, white beaches washed by clear, turquoise waters. I explored the charm and history of the US Southeast. I “hiked” (for me, hiking is walking slowly on flat, hard-packed level trails) three national parks with my grandchildren. I spent a month in a beautiful cabin on a cool, clear glacial lake. I watched college basketball games and a stock car race in person. My wife and I experienced our 42nd anniversary together. We had all seven of our grandchildren in one place for a holiday weekend. I made new friends and nurtured relationships with old friends. My wife and I spent many afternoons at a pool with grandchildren. I played golf several times and was even on a tournament-winning team. I experienced the challenge of a knee replacement and its recovery. I have witnessed my grandchildren playing baseball, swimming, basketball, soccer and football (via video). I made memories fishing with my 3-year old grandson. I fell more deeply in love with my wife than I ever thought possible. I laughed. I cried. I attended more funerals than I wanted or expected. I enjoyed my first year of retirement and all that comes with it (especially not missing that lousy commute). Yes, 2017 was a terrific and memorable year!

I don’t think I can forget 2017 and all that I was blessed to experience. However, this was also a year of learning for me. A day (or month or year) is never wasted if we learn and grow from the experience. So, let me share a few things, as I reminisce on the year that helped me learn and grow:

1. Life is not a checklist… enjoy the journey — Throughout my early life and work career, I have been a list maker. I would frequently create a “to do” list for the day or week and took great pleasure in scratching the items off the list. I would even create a mental checklist for family events, such as vacations. Get to the airport gate on time… check. Get to our destination… check. Find the car rental desk… check. You get the idea. However, I have found during this year that life is not a series of checklists that you have to accomplish in the right order and on time. Life can be full of wonderful experiences that sometimes occur random. When I think back on 2017, many of my “best memories” were not necessarily planned events. Many of these great times were spontaneous. How often does someone say to you, “Let’s go do ______?”, but you find an excuse or suggest another time? Why not sometimes throw out your calendar planner and just go with the flow more. You might be surprised at what you’ll remember most of 2018, if you do this more.
2. Surprise yourself… occasionally do the unexpected –— I mentioned above that my wife and I spent a month in a lake cabin this year. Well, we plan to spend at least three months in the cabin this year. We didn’t have that on our retirement planner a year ago. But, when the opportunity came up, we just decided to “go for it.” Now, we are spending this cold and long winter making plans for our upcoming summer on the lake. Sometimes, you need to color outside the lines. Had we thought, “No, we can’t even consider a lake cabin because we didn’t plan for it,”, we would have missed out on the joy and fun we expect to have for years to come. You need to take a chance once in awhile because we never know how much time we’ll have to enjoy the experiences of life.
3. You are creating memories for others… are they good ones? — Many of the very best memories of my life involve other people. In my childhood, I recall coaches, teachers, and family members that, in the process of pouring their lives into others, made good memories for me. Whether we want it or not… whether we are trying or not… we are making memories for our children, grandchildren, coworkers, neighbors, and others in our lives. The question is, “What kind of memories am I making? Are they positive memories? Or, are they memories that make me shudder?” There are things we can do, intentionally, to make a difference for others. I hope and pray that some of the good memories I carry from 2017 are also good memories that others will recollect in the years to come.
4. Don’t take today for granted… things could change tomorrow— As I look back on 2017, I recall attending three funerals of individuals that died much too young and much too unexpectedly. We are only promised today, so we need to always be mindful that tomorrow may never come. Those things you are waiting to do… those activities you plan to do someday… those things that don’t fit in to your plans today… the time to do those things may never come. For my first 60 years, I took walking for granted. I didn’t even think about it. But, since experiencing back and knee problems, walking has become more of a chore that I ever expected. I no longer take this simple act for granted because I realize that someday it may not be as easy as it is today. Enjoy what you have in front of you this moment!

I do realize that for many, the memories of 2017 are not positive ones. Experiencing loss changes us forever. Suffering through challenging financial, work, family, or health issues makes us want to kick 2017 into ancient history. For those that are feeling these hurts today, all I can say is that I’m sorry and hopeful that the new year will be one filled with joy, hope, and happiness.

Charles Dickens began his book The Tale of Two Cities like this, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…” As we look back on the year 2017, we may find it similar to the times Dickens wrote about over 150 years ago… it may have been both our best and worst of times. For me, I choose to look back with fondness and to anticipate that, in another 365 days, I will say the same thing about the year 2018.

Happy New Year!

When I was a kid, I shared a bedroom with my two brothers. The bedroom wasn’t that large, but my father had built a very nice set of stacking bunks that gave each of us a place to sleep, a desk, some shelves, and drawers for our clothes. Actually, it was a pretty amazing bedroom and we didn’t really feel that cramped. Anyway, the three of us struggled to keep our room neat. In truth, there were times when there was no way to even walk across the room it was so cluttered. Despite the “urging” of our parents to clean the place up, it remained a constant challenge… at least until our Dad taught us a valuable lesson. One evening when we returned from after school activities, he had emptied our drawers, shelves, everything… and dumped it all in a pile in the middle of the floor. He told us he was tired of our mess and that we couldn’t leave the room until everything was back in its place. Well, so much for any other plans that evening… That event helped us to “see the light” and, though the room was never perfect, it was much neater after that.

What does it mean to “see the light”? The dictionary says it is to gain some new understanding, sometimes in a sudden and profound way. The origins of that phrase go back to the time of the birth of Jesus Christ.

You see, His coming was predicted several thousand years before that.

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.”          Isaiah 9:2

The world was experiencing a period of darkness when God decided it was time to send His only Son to earth in the form of a baby on that first Christmas morning. God even announced to the shepherds that this was the One when “the glory of the Lord shone around them.” He also helped the Magi (kings) find him by providing a star to light the way to his humble stable in Bethlehem.

Light is important for us. I remember the longest night I have ever experienced… the night my father died. It seemed as though the darkness of that night would last forever. But, when morning came, there was new hope. I still mourned, but the light of a new day gave new optimism that the sadness would eventually subside.

A small candle makes all the difference to a child when the electricity goes off in the midst of a storm. The light from fireflies on a warm summer night brings a smile. The headlights of an oncoming car brings excitement when you anticipate the arrival of family driving cross country. A flashlight is a reliable friend when you are trying to find your way in the dark. The lights shining brightly at Christmas time brings back fond memories of our childhood and the fun times we had then. The dawn of each new day brings fresh opportunities, new hope, and a sense of optimism.

Any amount of light can overcome any amount of darkness. Yet, many people continue to live in a state of darkness this Christmas season. Depression hits individuals and families especially hard at this time of year. Remembering those family members and friends of the past often brings a sense of sadness and despair.

Christmastime also tends to be a time of self-reflection. It is a time when many realize that they truly are living their lives in a state of darkness… a life without meaning, purpose, or hope. Jesus himself spoke of this:

“Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” John 3:19

But, Jesus also gives us hope. He gives us a reason for living and a purpose. He said:

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

This is our answer to darkness! If we follow Him, we will never walk in darkness! What a great hope we have when we have Him in our lives!

I first saw and accepted the light of Jesus when I was 21 years old. Before that, I was walking in that darkness spoken about by Jesus. I was wandering through life with no real purpose or hope for eternity. But, when I accepted Him as my Savior and Lord of my life, everything changed. I now know my purpose in life and I have an optimism and hope for the future that can only come when you’ve experienced His light.

I enjoy a song about this light of Jesus at Christmas time. It is called “I have seen the light” and its lyrics are below:

I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT

Do I even need to say it? Relationships are important! They make life fun, enjoyable, fulfilling, and worth living. They can lift us up or tear us down. They can turn a meaningless day into a meaningful one.

But, are all relationships created equal? No, of course, they are not. Today, I would like to discuss the value of a ‘right’ relationship… the kind that can make a positive difference in our lives… the kind that can help us be successful… the kind that can keep us on the right road.

Dr. Mike Atherton* has identified three key characteristics of ‘right’ relationships that can help us discern the difference between these positive relationships and those that can be destructive. These points can be meaningful as we consider the relationships we have in our own lives:

• Right relationships engage us at the right times of life

Have you ever noticed how those individuals that really matter in your life seem to appear at just the right times? How many times have you had a call or email or visit from someone just when you needed it most? A right relationship seems to have impeccable timing. It won’t be too early or too late. It won’t delay until tomorrow what needs to happen today. A right relationship will always be there when you need it… even if you don’t realize it at the time.

• Right relationships encourage us in the right ways of thinking

Why is it that a right relationship always makes you realize something new or something you had not considered? A right relationship helps mold us to what is right. It doesn’t demand it, but a right relationship slowly and steadily changes the way we think. And, when our way of thinking changes, we become a better person. A right relationship helps us adjust our thinking in the right direction.

• Right relationships exemplify for us the right habits of living

When we want to know how to live, what do we do? In many cases, the answer lies in the people around us. Our model for living right and living well is often someone we might call a right relationship. Someone we know and care about shows us the way. They emulate what we want in life. Thus, we seek to modify how we live as a result.

So, what is a ‘right’ relationship? The best way I can describe one is to examine and consider how a right relationship can change us… how we are different as a result of a right relationship. Let’s look at a few examples that come to mind for me.

Characteristics of a ‘right’ relationship

1. You become a better person… you become a better individual than you ever would have been otherwise
2. You can be yourself… you don’t have to act like someone that you are not
3. You are encouraged… you attain a more positive outlook on whatever circumstance you might face
4. You know that you’ll get the truth… your relationship will never be false, deceptive, or dishonest
5. You feel a deep sense of trust… you have a shared sense of faithfulness, honesty, and mutual respect
6. You know you can laugh… you look forward to times happy times and experiences
7. You know you will be held accountable… you will be continuously reminded of the right path
8. You are challenged… you can’t always take the easy road because you are challenged to do better or more or do it faster
9. You see the right way… by watching a positive role model, you see the right way to live
10. You think better… your mind is clearer and you rely more on facts than emotions
11. You know someone cares… you always have someone on your side and seeking the very best for you
12. You can’t fool them… they know your heart and what really makes you tick
13. You feel respected… you are always treated the way you should be treated

In short, a ‘right’ relationship makes you a better person, lifts you up, and challenges you to do more and do it better than you would have without the relationship. Your life is richer and more fulfilled when you have ‘right’ relationships. A ‘right’ relationship will never hurt you intentionally.

A wrong relationship can pull or push you off track. They can, at best, hinder your happiness and growth as a person. At worst, they can wreck your life.

We all need ‘right’ relationships, whether at home, at work, or in the community. We need people in our lives that are completely dedicated to our good. When you find that kind of relationship, cherish it. And, if you have wrong relationships in your life, you might consider what steps you need to take to remedy that as we approach a new year.

* Dr. Atherton’s three key characteristics of ‘right’ relationships are borrowed from his sermon of 12/10/17 at the First Baptist Church, O’Fallon, MO. in which he discussed the importance of “Developing Godly Relationships.” He spoke of the importance of the Apostle Paul in the lives of Onesimus and Philemon and the difference that godly relationships can make in our lives (see the book of Philemon 1:8-22 for more details). I have adapted Dr. Atherton’s points to apply them to any ‘right’ relationship, whether in our families, work environment, or in society.

Occasionally, I write a story for my seven grandchildren. This is one written recently that they said they especially enjoyed. It is my version of a Hallmark Christmas story. One of the granddaughters even said, “This needs to be published!” Given that strong review and endorsement, I thought some of you might enjoy it, as well. At the very least, the photos of kittens are cute. 

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The Christmas Kitten

It was only about a week until Christmas! Charlie, the 5-year old “big brother” was playing with his baby sister. Charlie was good entertainment for Anna. He always made her laugh by making funny faces and bringing her toys.

But today, Charlie was starting to get a little worried. He only wanted one thing for Christmas… a kitty. Charlie loved cats! He loved pictures of cats, books about cats, funny videos about cats. He loved everything about cats. He thought they must be the best and smartest animals in the world. They could climb to get away from dogs. They could eat food from a bowl or go find their own. They could play games. They never got hurt. They were the best and he wanted one!

His Mommy and Daddy weren’t so sure. They said they thought he might be a little bit too young for a cat. But, he was 5 years old! That is big enough to do just about anything, so he was sure he could take care of a kitty. He told them, “I’ll play with my kitty, feed him, and clean out his litter box.” You see, he already knew a lot about cats and how to care for them. But, Mommy and Daddy just shrugged their shoulders and said, “We’ll think about it.”

Charlie went outside to play on his swing set. You see, Charlie’s yard had a nice fence around it, so he could play outside without his Mommy or Daddy coming out, too. Today, Charlie was pretending that his fence was a space ship and he had to protect it from the evil invaders flying into his yard. All of a sudden, Charlie heard a noise. It almost sounded like a Kitty, but maybe Charlie was just hearing one of those space invaders.

He heard it again! This time it sounded like it was coming from under the deck of his house. So, he decided to go investigate. Charlie was good at investigating things. He once helped his Grandma and Grandpa find a little bird stuck in the front vent of their car. As Charlie walked closer, he finally saw it… it was a Kitty. It looked cold and scared.

Charlie called out to the Kitty, “Here, Kitty, come here and I’ll help you.” The Kitty didn’t come to him yet. He tried again with no luck. But, he had an idea… he ran inside the house. A few minutes later, he came back out carrying a small bowl of milk. He sat the bowl down and tried again, “Here, Kitty, come get a drink of milk.” This time, it worked! The Kitty saw the milk and ran to the bowl. He drank milk until the whole bowl was empty. He was a very hungry Kitty.

After drinking the milk, the Kitty was a lot more friendly to Charlie. After all, Charlie might have just saved his life! The Kitty rubbed his back against Charlie’s leg and began purring. Charlie smiled. He then carefully and gently picked up the Kitty and began rubbing his back. The Kitty purred even more and louder.

Charlie and the Kitty were becoming good friends. But, Charlie started wondering if the Kitty belonged to someone else. He didn’t see anyone looking for a lost Kitty.

Charlie decided to take the Kitty into the house to show his Mommy. She was very surprised when she saw it. “Where did you find that Kitty, Charlie? Are you sure he is a nice Kitty?” Charlie told his Mommy the story of how he found him and rescued him from under the deck. Charlie said, “Mommy, I know he is a nice Kitty because he thanked me for the milk I gave him.” Charlie asked her, “Mommy, since he is a nice Kitty, can I keep him in the warm house with me today until Daddy gets home? I’m sure Daddy would like to see him, too.”

Before his Mommy could answer, the Kitty jumped down to the floor and started rubbing his back on Mommy’s leg. He also started purring loudly, as if to ask, “Yes, Mommy, can I stay in the house today with Charlie?” Mommy liked cats, too, so she finally said, “OK. You can play with the Kitty in the house just for today… just until your Daddy comes home.”

Charlie was excited! He had always wanted a Kitty and now he had one in his arms! Even though the Kitty wasn’t really his… at least yet…he was going to have fun with him today. He took Kitty to his room and they played the rest of the day. Kitty even took a nap on Charlie’s bed.

Daddy was very surprised that Charlie had a Kitty! By bedtime, though, Daddy was playing with the Kitty as much as Charlie was. Anna was even playing with him. She would throw a ball and the Kitty was chase it. It made her laugh! At bedtime, though, Mommy and Daddy both told Charlie, “You know that we probably won’t be able to keep Kitty. His real owners are probably trying very hard to find him. They might be very worried about him.” Charlie said, “Yes, I know. Maybe tomorrow, Mommy and I can walk around the neighborhood to try to find his real owner.” You see, Charlie was a very nice boy. Even though he was starting to love Kitty, he knew that Kitty needed to go back to his real home.

When Charlie woke up the next morning, the Kitty wasn’t sleeping on his bed with him. In fact, the Kitty wasn’t in Charlie’s room at all! “Where did he go?” Charlie asked. He jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. Kitty was standing next to the kitchen door. It looked like he wanted to go outside. “Maybe he wants to go back to his real home,” Mommy said. “Or, maybe, he just wants to go out to play,” said Charlie. Charlie opened the door and Kitty ran outside to the grass. Then, he ran back to the door. Charlie was watching from the window. “Oh,” said Mommy, “He just needed to go outside to the bathroom! What a well trained Kitty,” she said.

The Kitty then started to purr very loudly again. He started rubbing his back on Charlie’s leg, them Mommy’s leg. Charlie said, “Mommy, do you think the Kitty is telling us that he is hungry for milk?” “Yes,” said Mommy, “I’m sure that’s it. Let’s give him some.” Charlie got the bowl and carefully poured some milk in it. The Kitty WAS very hungry. He drank all the milk… all the way to the bottom of the bowl. Charlie said, “I wish we had some fresh fish to give Kitty. I’ll bet she would love some of that, too.”

Later that day, Charlie, Mommy, and Anna walked around the neighborhood with Kitty. They asked everyone they saw if they knew where Kitty really lived. No one could help. They even made some signs that said, “FOUND – little gray boy Kitty.” They put Mommy’s phone number on the sign, in case someone was looking for Kitty.

Charlie and Kitty were becoming very good friends. They played together every day. The also played with Anna. Charlie fed Kitty and they played outside. Kitty slept in Charlie’s bed with him and it started to look like Charlie might be able to keep Kitty forever!

In the evening two days before Christmas, Charlie, Kitty, and Anna were playing in the living room floor. Daddy was watching TV and Mommy was reading on the computer. All at once she said, “Oh, no! I think we’ve found the real owners that are looking for Kitty!” You see, even Mommy was starting to fall in love with Kitty. Everyone stopped what they were doing and ran to the computer. There it was… someone had put a note on Facebook saying, “LOST – little gray boy Kitty. His name is Smokey! We miss him! If you find him, please call us!” There was a picture… it was Kitty!

Charlie said, “That’s Kitty! I mean… that’s Smokey!” He turned around and said, “Smokey, come here. Is that you?” Kitty (I mean Smokey) immediately stopped playing with Anna and ran to Charlie. Yes, that meant it was true… they had found Smokey’s real owners.

Charlie’s first thought was, “Since Smokey is with us, maybe he would like living here better than with his real owners.” But, he remembered what his Mommy and Daddy always said, “We always have to do the right thing.” Charlie finally said, with some sadness in his voice, “Mommy, we need to call Smokey’s owners… right now.”

Smokey’s owners were very excited to find him! They laughed and screamed on the phone. They were so happy! But, Charlie was a little sad. He had always wanted a Kitty and he thought Smokey was finally the one. But, he knew that Smokey’s real home was not with him.

Smokey’s owners arranged to pick him up that next morning on Christmas Eve. At least Charlie and Smokey were able to spend one more night together! It was fun, but it was also sad.

Early that next morning, Smokey’s owners rang the doorbell. When Mommy opened the door, Charlie was very surprised to see his friend from pre-school, Marci, there with her mom. “Marci,” said Charlie, “Is Smokey your kitty?” She said, “Yes, and we were so worried that he was lost forever! I’m so glad that you rescued him and took care of him for me!” Smokey jumped into Marci’s arms and she hugged him close. Charlie could see that it was the right thing to get Smokey back to Marci. He could tell that she really loved him. As Marci and her mom were leaving, Marci said, “Maybe you could come to my house to play with me and Smokey sometime.” Charlie thought that would be nice.

It was Christmas Eve… tomorrow was Christmas! But, Charlie was still a little bit sad. He had always wanted a kitty and he missed Smokey. But, he also felt glad that Marci had her kitty back home.

That might, Christmas Eve night, Charlie had a dream. He dreamed that he had his own kitty. He loved playing with his own kitty, but this was only a dream. His “dream kitty” was even licking his face. Charlie even thought he could hear his little “dream kitty” purring. This dream seemed very real… but, it was only a dream.

Finally, the dream woke him up! It wasn’t a dream! There was a real kitty in his bed with him! Charlie couldn’t believe it! This kitty was very small… almost a baby. It was so cute… and it was in his bed! “Where did this kitty come from?” he wondered. It was just then that he looked up at his bedroom door. His Mommy and Daddy were there smiling. Maybe this was real and not a dream! The kitty in his hands certainly felt real.

Mommy then said, “Charlie, Merry Christmas!” Then he realized what was happening! His Mommy and Daddy got him a real kitty for Christmas! It was real! Charlie was so excited that he could barely speak. He ran to his Mommy and Daddy and gave them a big hug. “Is it real? Is this really my kitty?” asked Charlie. “Yes, he is your new kitty,” they said. Anna was even smiling as she tried to pet the new kitty.

Charlie barely thought of anything else the rest of the day. He couldn’t even open the rest of his presents because he was so busy playing with his new kitty. “This is the best Christmas ever!” he said, over and over. “What is your new kitty’s name?” Daddy asked him. Charlie thought… and thought. He wanted a good name for his kitty.

“Happy!” Charlie finally said. “Happy is his name! Because he has made me the happiest boy in the world, I’m giving him the name ‘Happy’.”

Later, when Mommy and Daddy were saying bedtime prayers with Charlie, he said, “I’m really glad we didn’t try to keep Smokey. Marci really loves him and needed him to come home. And, now, this is the best Christmas ever because I have my new friend, Happy.”

Mommy and Daddy, “Doing the right thing is always the right thing.” They smiled and agreed. It really was the best Christmas ever.

The End

Not long ago, I had the fun honor of watching one of my granddaughters in a basketball game. She is early in her basketball career, so the skill level of all the kids was at the beginner stage. Nonetheless, it was striking to see how important it was for the kids to have someone in the stands to see them. After almost every good play, the kids paused to look for their parents, grandparents, or friends in the stands, in effect to say, “Did you see that? Are you watching me?” In a way, they are saying, “It’s good to have someone here to see me. Thanks for coming!” It gives a grandfather a great feeling to know that it made a difference for her to see me in the stands for her game.

When I was a kid, I played every sport available. My parents probably attended over 95% of my games. Personally, it made a difference knowing that they cared enough to make the effort… putting other things aside, leaving work early, or delaying their own interests. And, it was great at home after the game having someone to talk about key plays and situations. I think the one exception was the time my mother was almost ejected from a game for yelling too much at the referee… we didn’t talk about that one much at home.

Being a leader is an important calling. Sure, maybe it is a choice, but it is also a calling… something so important that it can be life-changing for those you lead. But, leaders often miss terrific opportunities to demonstrate that they care when they fail to see those things their teammates do. In a way, leaders are like those parents in the stands. When their teammates do something special, they want to know, “Did you see that?” They want to know that their efforts are recognized and appreciated.

Showing that you care doesn’t take a lot of time or effort. It can be something as simple as a quick email saying, “I appreciate the way you organized and handled that important meeting yesterday.” Or, “Maybe I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate what you do to make this a better place.” Showing you care is often not much more than being there.

I remember once early in my career when I was still trying to find my way in the corporate world. I was trying to make an impact and frequently volunteered to do more than might have been expected. One morning, I came into work feeling like I was in a bit of a rut… the weather was cold and dreary, I was tired, and it was an effort to just get the day going. When I arrived, there was a very short hand-written note on my desk that simply said, “Hey, I just appreciate all the things you’ve been doing lately. It’s great to have you on the team. Thanks.” Wow! What a difference that little note made for me! I kept that note for years.

We are all capable of making a difference, if we’ll just do it. Think back to those days when you paused to look for your parents in the stands. It spurs us to doing more and giving more than we would have otherwise, when we know someone cares. When one of your teammates asks, “Did you see that?” Make sure they know you care. Let them SEE your support, not just HEAR it.

Have a great day!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day! It is that day set aside for us to gather as families, create good memories, remember those good times of the past, eat good food, and express our thanks for the people and blessings in our lives. It is a day also to ask ourselves the question, “Do I have a grateful heart?”

Sure, it is easy to stop and count our blessings. It is easy to be thankful. However, being thankful isn’t enough. I’m reminded of a quote:

“Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.”                                                                                 – Henri Frederic Amiel

As Amiel states, thankfulness is good, but it can be silent. That silent, inner appreciation we often express is good, but it is only the start. Having gratitude, or a grateful heart, is more than words… it is a series of acts… a life of action… a life of serving… a life of loving others.

So, do I have a grateful heart? To answer that question, I think we all need to take an honest look at what motivates us. I would argue that if a person is motivated by what they can gain, what the world owes them, by their net worth, or by their status, position, or power, then that person does not have a grateful heart.

On the other hand, a life that can be seen expressing gratitude through their actions toward others, is a life that exhibits a grateful heart. A grateful heart…

• Serves those that could never pay them back
• Thinks of others before self
• Seeks ways to add value or to make life better for others
• Expresses the abundance of a grateful heart by giving
• Freely gives of their time
• Can pause from their busy life to enjoy the beauty of the world we’ve been given
• Is saddened by injustice, but is motivated by it to stand up for others
• Treats others with respect… all the time
• Lifts others with a continuously outreached hand
• Can laugh at themselves
• Is not distracted by minor irritations, but is driven to achieve good in every circumstance
• Recognizes that good friends are more valuable than gold
• Cherishes good memories of loved ones now gone
• Recognizes that all good things come from a God that loves us

So, tomorrow, as you gather with friends and family to enjoy this day set aside to express our thanks, let’s remember that the output of that thanks should be a life that freely exhibits gratitude. Our thankful hearts should give rise to our grateful hearts.

And, as you enjoy the hustle and bustle of the day, pause to etch it into your memory. For there is a day coming when you would give anything to have it back… just one more time.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”                                                                 – Robert Brault

Happy Thanksgiving Day! Enjoy it and let it spawn a grateful heart in each of us.

Recently, I have had some extended time sitting in the woods on beautiful autumn mornings. I simply love this time of year and sitting in the quiet, watching the world of nature around me, is one of the best ways I know to spend time. The colors of the leaves, the deep blue of the sky, and the freshness of the air make living all the more worthwhile.

The other morning, the temperature was crisp, the sunrise beautiful, and the wind was calm. This was probably the first really cold day in that area. But, on this morning there came a time that the leaves on the trees started falling like rain. It appeared that all the leaves were just waiting for such a time as that… a wonderful, sunny, crisp morning… to relinquish their hold and relish the fact that they had accomplished another year of purpose. On this morning, I actually was able to hold my eye on one individual leaf and watch it “let go” and fall to the ground. It was fascinating!

This experience made me wonder how the leaves really know when it is time to “let go.” Yet, it seems they always know the perfect timing. Why is it that we often have such a difficult time letting go of some of the things we should? What are some of those things?

Well, here is a short list of things we should freely “let go”:

1. Hurts from the past
2. Worries about tomorrow
3. Burdens that we simply cannot control
4. That schedule that allows no time to really live
5. Trying to organize, shape, or manage the lives of others
6. Perfectionism
7. Activities that provide no value

However, there are a few things we should never let go… things that we should “hold on to”:

1. People that care about you
2. Hope, optimism, and enthusiasm for the future
3. Making a difference for someone else each day
4. Doing the right things in the right way
5. Love
6. An appreciation for the beauty around us
7. Knowledge that there is a God that loves us and cares about us

A leaf never holds on longer than is needed. Neither should we. However, we must hold firm to those things and people that give meaning and purpose to our lives. These things make life worth living.

So, today, no matter if you are hurting, happy, desperate, discouraged, enthused, engaged, depressed, or dynamic… think about those things that you are holding and ask, “Which of these should I allow to go? What must I grip even harder?” Then, do what you need to do.

Remember, this could be your very best day yet! We never know when that day might come. So, look for it today and savor it when it comes!