A few weeks ago, The Porch featured a post I called “My own personal balance beam.”  This item discussed the seven areas of my life that I feel must function in concert to have a truly balanced life.  Today, I wanted to share a few thoughts (50 in all) of practical things you can do to help achieve that balance we all desire.  General thoughts are nice, but we often value even more those recommendations that we can actually do… actions we can take… that can help us be successful. 

So, here is my list categorized in the seven areas discussed in the recent post (see the post here… My personal balance beam):

Faith (and Service to others)

1. Commit to some specific activity to serve others, either on a regular basis or a significant one-time activity – this is a great way to help your children understand the importance of serving others
2. Read the Bible through during the year
3. Find a source of daily inspiration (there are many available) that provide a motivating quote or commentary to start each day
4. Visit a home for the elderly and speak with some of the residents – they appreciate someone to listen to their stories, write a letter for them, or just sit and talk
5. Share what you believe and why you believe it with at least one person – then, listen to their story, as well – it is good to be able to vocalize what faith means to you and hear the same from someone else
6. Pay for what the car behind you bought the next time you are in a drive-through restaurant line – do it anonymously as a simply gesture of good will to another
7. Go out of your way to thank person in military service, a police office, or a first responder – a handshake and thank you is nice; paying for their coffee or doing something practical for them is even better

Family

1. Husbands, read The Wedding by James Patterson – this book is an easy read that will give you a fresh and potentially life-changing love for your wife (sorry, wives, I don’t have a similar recommendation for you)
2. Have a movie night once per month – be sure to include the popcorn
3. Try to have dinner all together at the same table at least 3-4 or more times per week – these times are precious, especially with kids in the house, for bonding, sharing, and strengthening your family ties
4. Split up family chores, commensurate with age and ability, to share home responsibilities and to teach responsibility
5. Call a family member that lives away at least once/week – sometimes, we tend to wait for someone else to call us rather than take the initiative to make the first move
6. Write a hand-written letter to your spouse or loved one – share with him/her what they mean to you and why you love them the way you do
7. Take that vacation or road trip you’ve been talking about, but have yet to do – my siblings and I still talk about our adventures on these trips when we were kids
8. Get together with your siblings to reminisce about your own days growing up
9. Plan and take your spouse on a weekend getaway, just the two of you – every couple should do this at least annually

Friends

1. Schedule (and fulfill) a monthly lunch out with one or more of your good friends – if you don’t put it on the calendar, it likely won’t get done
2. Write a letter to a past friend that you have not seen in over a year to reconnect – you might even thank them for what they have meant to your life or career
3. Surprise a friend with a coffee mug or other small gift from your next trip – even a small gesture shows you care
4. Look for an opportunity to meet a specific need for a friend, such as provide a meal card when a sickness occurs, then do it
5. Learn the birthdays for your colleagues and friends – then, remember them with a card or note – I think we all know the value of showing we care
6. Surprise a friend with a kindness that is unexpected and out-of-character for you – they need to learn that you aren’t totally predictable

Firm (or Work)

1. Organize your work life – delete unneeded files and folders, eliminate paper, and minimize the clutter in your work life
2. Begin preparing for your year-end performance review now – create folders for those highlights, commendations, etc. that will assist you later in the year when you write your self-assessment
3. Consider using a single notebook or journal for notes from meetings, phone calls, discussions, etc. rather than keeping individual pieces of paper for each event – the journal (e.g., very inexpensive composition notebook is fine) is easy to carry, gives you one thing to remember, and allows easy access without losing important information
4. Develop the habit of leaving work in time to attend important events and activities for your children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews – you may have only once chance to enjoy these and the kids always hope you’ll be there – besides, the work will be there when you return the next day
5. Keep your resume updated – it is not just for job searching, but to ensure that you track key career highlights and stay attuned to your own career progression
6. Increase networking with those outside your own company – re-establish contact with those ex-colleagues and stay in touch with those that already know you
7. Refresh your LinkedIn profile and content – in today’s world, LinkedIn has become the go-to source for recruiters and others that need to connect
8. Attend at least one local industry event that is pertinent to your job/function – these events are good for staying current in your field, but they are also good for networking

Fun

1. Play hide-and-go seek with your family indoors after dark – you will be amazed at how fun this is and the bonds and memories it grows
2. Plan a day trip once a month to a state park, museum, or other place where you can learn something new, experience something new, and have fun with your family
3. Create a photo book to preserve vacation photos or just typical photos from the past year – these books will become a tradition of fun that you cherish for years (our family uses Shutterfly, though we have also used Mpix)
4. Go fishing, ice skating, roller skating, rock climbing, fly a kite, etc. – just do something unusual and, possibly, as a surprise to the family
5. Read The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King – this is not a well-known King book, but one that might give you a fun, new perspective on a great author (without the freaky sci-fi stuff common in many of King’s books)
6. Do something totally spontaneous and unexpected – last summer, I jumped into the kiddie swimming pool with my grandchildren fully clothed (yes, I had thought ahead to remove my wallet and phone) – these are some of those things that will be remembered long after you are gone
7. Go to see live music as much as you can – mix it up to see a variety of musicians at different venues – this can be both fun and rewarding
8. Have a pizza night at home making a variety of pizzas with different toppings – experiment with cooking to create an activity that everyone can enjoy

Physical (Fitness or Health)

1. Find a new or unique place to hike – perhaps, create a family challenge to take a 10-mile hike along a river or through the mountains
2. Dig that old bicycle out of the basement and try riding it – who knows, you might re-develop a new love for riding
3. Make one small change in your diet that will result in a health improvement – for example, eliminate chips or chocolate for one month (or begin having oatmeal for breakfast), then decide if you want to continue
4. Establish a goal that you can do with or with the support of your family, such as run a 5K, walk 10 miles, ride a bicycle 20 miles, etc. – many choose to increase their average number of steps over the course of the year
5. Turn off the television at least one evening a week and do something active – you can catch up with what you missed later, if you have a DVR anyway
6. Get an annual physical exam, especially if you have not had one in several years – others need to finally have that colonoscopy that they have neglected, that overdue mammogram, or that dental exam you’ve delayed

Function (or Mind or Learning)

1. Learn a new skill, such as a new software package, playing an instrument, trying a new sport
2. Create a personal journal to record special events, hopes and dreams for the future, and activities that you hope to remember in the future – I did this for 8 or 10 years when our three kids lived at home; it is fun to go back and read my thoughts and the specifics of the day when our kids were born, when big family events occurred, etc.
3. Read a non-fiction book at least once/quarter – studies have shown that some of the most productive and intelligent people in the world continue a habit of reading through their lifetime
4. Expand your appreciation for music or the arts – during the past year, I re-discovered a genre of music that I had forgotten even existed and, as a result, I gained a new appreciation for the lyrics and talents of that generation of musicians
5. Do something artistic – make a gift for someone else, paint a picture, write a poem, write a short story, etc.
6. Consider attaining a work-related certification – the benefit in learning a new area and gaining certification helps develop both your mind and your career

I’m sure you can think of many more.  The point is, find something specific you can do to create more balance in your life.  Don’t neglect any one of these areas, but work to attain some ongoing, consistent activities in each of these seven areas.  Early in a new year is a great time to start.

Have a great day!  This might just be our very best yet!

 

We are not even two weeks into a new year and I’ve seen it already… individuals frustrated because they have either already failed on “New Year’s resolutions” or they have given up ambition goals they set with the best of intentions last December.  When this occurs, individuals often either just give up or they simply cannot motivate themselves to re-start.

So, is there a way to stay motivated when you’ve already failed so early in the new year?  What practical steps can you take to keep going?  Though I am not a personal expert on sticking to those New Year resolutions we make, I have listed a few thoughts that might help you either stay on track or get back on track if you’ve had an early derailment:

1. Take a mulligan – One of my favorite golf terms is “mulligan.”  A mulligan is essentially a do-over… a second chance… a fresh start.  When golfing with friends, it is common that on the first hole, if you don’t like  your very first shot, you can have a mulligan, a second try with no penalty.  That way, you at least have a chance to begin your round without the bad vibes of a terrible first shot (that is, assuming your mulligan shot was better).  If you have missed a goal early, give yourself a mulligan and start over.
2. Focus on your mission, not your missed goal – We often become frustrated with missed goals without realizing that a goal is merely a small piece of the greater mission.  For example, a common resolution at the beginning of the year is to lose weight.  So, when you fail to make desired progress in January, we become frustrated and lose heart.  Individuals often give up because their viewpoint is too short-term.  In reality, when you attempt to lose weight, you are seeking a larger target… that is, you are truly trying to become more healthy overall.  Sure, losing weight is an important part of that, but if you take your eyes off the greater mission of a more healthy lifestyle, your frustration with missing a short-term target may appear overwhelming.  Keep your focus on the larger objective or mission.  When you focus on the longer-term objective rather than daily or weekly targets, you may become less frustrated and more motivated to persevere.
3. Re-adjust (this time more realistically) – We often fail to achieve objectives early in the year simply because they were not realistic in the first place.  For example (back to our weight loss scenario), some individuals may target a 20-pound weight loss in January.  Then, when they only lose 7-pounds, they become frustrated and look at their efforts as a failure.  More realistically, setting a target that is more achievable may keep you motivated.  I have found that early in such an effort, by setting a very comfortable goal early that is easily achieved, provides an early success that breeds more motivation and more success later.  Start more slowly, then ramp it up as you gain momentum.
4. Laugh it off, but “get back in the saddle” – Humor can often disarm failure.  For example, when learning to ride a horse, you might fall off a time or two the first few times trying.  If you can laugh it off and get back up, you will gain confidence and skill that makes it easier and easier.  Put early failures aside quickly and move on.
5. Enlist an accountability partner – If you experience early goal failures, it might be helpful to enlist someone else that can come alongside to assist you.  It might be motivating to have a running partner, for example.  A friend or partner that can challenge you, support you, laugh with you, or lift you back up is a valuable tool for achieving success.

I think my point today is this… Don’t give up!  Yes, it is early and you have fallen, but pick yourself up and get back at it.  A calendar is just an arbitrary marker.  Think about the suggestions above, pick one that might help and get going.  Whether you are trying to lose weight, live a more healthy life, enhance your own abilities, spend more time with family, or whatever, there is no bad time to begin anew.  Just go do it.  In the end, you’ll be glad you were persistent.

Have a fabulous day!

 

We hear it all the time, “Let’s all give 100% on this!”  Or, we read about how important it is to give 100% as leaders or team members or employees.  We are bombarded by advice to give 100% to work, to family, and to outside activities.  What does it really mean to give 100%  How do you know when you are there?  Is it ever possible to achieve 100% effort?  And, when should I give MORE than 100% (if ever)?

Today, I would like to try to at least provide some perspectives on what 100% means and, perhaps, more importantly, what is does NOT mean.

So, let’s start with that… giving 100% does NOT mean:

1. Neglecting another important part of your life (e.g., family) to further your career – There are too many examples of parents that prioritize their work life over their children to their detriment.  The song “The Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin is a chilling reminder that we only have one chance to raise our children.  So, don’t buy the lie that says you aren’t giving 100% unless you work longer hours than everyone else, travel more than is necessary, or must work evenings and weekends to “stay in touch.”
2. Accepting or tolerating an abusive situation – There are leaders that will take advantage of employees… yes, believe it or not!  This can be especially true for workers early in their careers or individuals new to a job.  The leaders continues to ask for more and more to the point that the workload becomes abusive.  Failing to continue this overload spiral does not mean you are giving less than 100%
3. Trying to do more than you are capable or more than is possible – Do not fall into the trap of believing that you aren’t giving 100% unless you do everything requested, or finish earlier than needed, or that you achieve perfection in all things.  Sure, we need to do our very best at what we do.  We need to achieve all that we are capable.  But, we must not continually feel we underachieve when we fail to do the impossible.
4. Overcommitting which has detrimental outcomes – There are times when we need to just say, “No.”  It is true that leaders tend to keep going to their best people or best performers for every important task.  It is OK to be honored by this, but we must have limits.  We cannot allow our pride to overcommit our lives to the detriment of other important aspects of our lives.
5. Subsidizing the company’s decision to have too few resources – I have always believed that there are some companies (none that I ever worked for, of course) that always under-resource activities, projects, and functions.  So, by providing fewer resources that are needed, everyone else must pick up the slack.  This can result in excessive work hours that, essentially, are subsidizing the company’s decision to under-resource.  When you consistently have to work 60 hours/week, for example, to perform the basic functions of your job, you are either inefficient OR, more likely, you are subsidizing an under-resourcing situation.  In this case, you need to help your boss justify additional resources by showing the value to be gained for the company by adding the required resources to do the job well.

To be fair, there are some individuals that would claim “abuse” simply because they are asked to be at work every day on time.  I am not attempting to promote a lower standard or a culture of whining.  But, there are employers or leaders that believe that they can get your best output only when they challenge you to the breaking point.  I have an acquaintance that was once give three times more projects to get done in a year than was possible.  His boss claimed that even if he finished only half the projects, that would be more than he would have done otherwise.  This is not what I advocate.

So, what are some practical ways you can give 100%?  What defines 100%?  Giving 100% effort simply means doing your very best work in every situation.  Following is a list that I call indicators of 100% effort.  An individual that is giving 100% effort will consistently:

• Seek ways to assist others when your work is caught up or a low period of work activity is experienced
• Be reliable – this individual will give a full day of work, give full effort when needed, bee engaged, and strive to achieve (or exceed) required work in the time allotted
• Promote a positive work environment by avoiding distractions, rumors, and negative situations – this person will work to create a positive work environment with an encouraging attitude, work ethic, and demeanor (e.g., body language)
• Achieve goals, timelines, and requests without complaints, drama, or constant urging
• Provide alternative solutions to problems when hurdles occur – seek ways to accomplish needed work despite unexpected challenges, problems, or changing conditions
• Work exceptional hours on occasion to support the team’s key business objectives – this individual knows that there are times when extraordinary effort will be required and will willingly do what is needed, in those times, to meet business needs
• Motivate others through words, actions, and deeds
• Seek to improve their own knowledge, skills, and abilities – this person understands that as they improve, their ability to help the team or company is enhanced
• Simply, does their best in every situation – an individual that is giving 100% will maintain a high level of personal standards for work effort and performance

I think we all want to give 100%.  We all think we are giving at least 100%.  However, a peek at this list might reveal opportunities to become even better.

Today might be a good day to take a fresh look at our own performance.  Are you being asked for more than is reasonable?  Have you crossed that line?  Or, alternatively, are there things you can do better or with more vigor to more closely attain the 100% effort our employers (and families) deserve.

Have a wonderful day!  This could be our “best day yet!”  There is still that chance.  Enjoy!

I recently ran across a quote that I felt was meaningful.  It was especially timely because we tend to become retrospective at the end of a year.  We tend to think about our loved ones that are no longer around.  We see lists in the news of those celebrities that have died during the year.  We think about those family members that could not visit for the holidays.  We think about friends and times in the past when we read Christmas cards and letters.  And, in my case, I think about all those individuals and coworkers that have been in my life during the 40 years of my career that just ended.  Here is the quote:

“If you absence doesn’t affect them, your presence never mattered.” – Anonymous

You can look at this quote in one of two ways:

1. “That hole in my heart says the people of my past impacted me greatly” – You can look at this quote from the perspective of missing people from your past.  I was able to spend significant time with my seven grandchildren over the recent holidays.  When they are around, I often think of my own parents, both gone now for many years.  I think about the impact they had on my life and how I miss them.  I think my own grandparents and what I learned from them. I think of friends that live far away.  I think of my work colleagues that I will no longer see every day.  All of these individuals impacted me.  They’re presence in my life mattered!  I’m different because of them (you).  We should never take times we have with these loved ones for granted because there will be a day when we can no longer see them, call them, or share our lives with them.  The second way we can look at this quote is this….
2. “Am I impacting others in such a way that my presence makes a difference?  Does my presence really matter?” – It might be humbling to actually ask yourself these questions.  Possibly, we don’t even want to know the answer.  The reality is that our lives are not our own.  We are not islands unto ourselves.  Our purpose is not simply to gratify ourselves, accumulate wealth, attain power or position, or meet our own needs.  We exist to make a difference in the lives of others.  If you were suddenly snatched out of this life, who would be impacted?  Who would say, “His/Her absence hurts.  That individual made a huge difference in my life and it will never be the same without him/her.”

So, the bottom line message this little quote has for me is this… Who matters in my life and have I told those individuals what they mean to me?  And, am I doing my best to make a positive difference for the people in my life?  I have the power to make a difference – am I using that power or wasting it?

As you look ahead to this New Year, let’s consider who matters in our own lives and how we can matter more to others.  As you do, you’ll see yourself adopt a completely new attitude on life, what you do, and what really matters.  And, you will gain a much keener appreciation for the people in your life that matter.

We all have the power to make a difference… let’s use that power for good in 2017!

I have debated with myself many times over the last few months about whether to even broach this subject, but here we go anyway. Ladies, please feel free to read this, but I am writing primarily to the men today.  (I owe a huge thank you to four of my trusted female coworkers for helping to keep me on track for this piece.)

Guys, I am concerned that our female colleagues have a substantially more difficult time navigating the trials and challenges of corporate life than we do. For example, we never have to worry about what we wear.  I choose what pants I wear each day by which ones already have a belt.  Grab a shirt and off I go.  On the other hand, our female colleagues have many more decisions regarding what it means to dress for success.  They have to be concerned more with the overall message they want to portray, what others will think, and what exactly “business casual” really even means.

Our female colleagues also must be much more careful about what they say and how they say it. By not speaking up, she may be viewed as timid.  If she does speak up, she might be called bossy or worse.  Finding that perfect balance is challenging and, frankly, something we probably think little about.

Let me give a few other examples of what our female colleagues must deal with that we simply do not or rarely do:

• It is often assumed that men are more competent and capable than women
• Women must prove that they are capable, competent, and skilled
• Many men are resistant to follow a woman leader or see women lead successfully
• Women have a tighter “specification” for what is acceptable, whereas, men are usually given the benefit of the doubt
• Women often wonder if they could have done more or better – they frequently wonder if their efforts were good enough 
• Women must often cut corners at home to overcome the “need to do more” belief
• Asking for help or leeway is often viewed as a sign of weakness for women, but is seen as “being collaborative or inclusive” for men
• Women are often underestimated, especially if they are younger or seen as less experienced
• Women must act more cautiously and take fewer risks because they are typically given less runway than men
• Even in this day and age, our women colleagues still have to deal with sexual harassment or subtle inferences that make them uncomfortable

Over the course of my forty years in business and industry, I would include many women colleagues on my own “top ten most competent ever” list. Women have the ability to achieve anything we can achieve and, sometimes, better.  They are just as capable as men when given the same opportunities.  So, I thought it would be good to discuss exactly what we can do to help make corporate life better for these colleagues.  What can we – their male colleagues, bosses, counterparts, and teammates – do to level the playing field for them?

Please also keep in mind that the competent women I have worked with do NOT want any unreasonable accommodations or advantages in the workplace. They resent efforts to “give them an edge.”  Most women in my life simply want their abilities and accomplishments to speak for themselves.  So, with that in mind, these are the things I believe we can do to help:

1. Our female colleagues do not need rescued, they need our support – I think there is a natural tendency to try to “fix things” for our colleagues. We want to be helpful and often try to overcompensate for issues they face. I have heard my male colleagues say, “I want to treat female colleagues just like I would treat my wife or daughter.” Nice sentiment, but that is not helping our colleagues. They do not need us to rescue them from challenges they face. However, we must be supportive. Listening more than talking is important. Offering our thoughts and opinions WHEN ASKED is supportive. In short, we should support our female colleagues in the same way we would support their male counterparts – no more, no less. What can we specifically do? Let’s look at a few examples:
   • Advocate for talented female colleagues openly in meetings and presentations.
   • Offer our specific assistance when we see colleagues juggling too much.
   • Though serving as a mentor is nice, our female colleagues need sponsors – individuals willing to take a potential career risk to advance the career of a capable female colleague
2. We must stop being condescending; just be fair and give them an honest chance to excel – When we understand and recognize that our female counterparts are strong, competent, and capable, we will, perhaps, begin actively seeking their input, following their lead, allowing them flexibility, and recognizing their “right” to take risks. The thought that we need to help them avoid tough decisions or avoid the potential for making a mistake, is simply not what they need from us. We must free them to be successful in the same ways that are available to us. We must expand the “acceptable specifications” for our female counterparts to the same level we frequently experience and allow for other men.
3. We must be respectful of our women colleagues in what we say and do – Our female counterparts deserve to be treated with respect in all matters. They should not have to deal with unwanted touching, looks, or comments. Let’s give them a break and simply treat them as the trusted, competent coworkers that they are. With all the challenges they already face, we must not put them into the uncomfortable position of needing to deal with that! There is still a significant problem with male leaders attempting to take advantage of younger female coworkers. This must stop! We need to “cut out the boys club crap,” as I heard a colleague once say.
4. We must realize that most of our women colleagues are heroes and men would be challenged to balance everything they do in their lives – Women must deal with issues outside work that few of us have. For example, though many women have spouses that share home duties, the burden falls on many of them to coordinate transportation for kids, dealing with all home scheduling, meals, etc.  Let’s realize that we need to allow some flexibility and understanding as we work to help them achieve proper balance. After all, when they feel comfortable that things at home are OK, they can focus better on achieving success at work. Let’s give them a hand!
5. When we fail to properly consider a woman for a typical “male” position, we not only harm them, but we possibly fail to hire the best possible candidate – Why are women often excluded from typical “male” positions, such as in manufacturing management, engineering, maintenance, etc.? Don’t tell me that they are under-represented in these areas because there are not enough qualified candidates! By excluding women in these roles, we fail to hire the best candidates, in many cases. Women bring much to the table in highly complex and technical roles. We must ensure that any hiring decisions at least ensure that we make an intentional effort to have a broad pool of qualified candidates that includes women.
6. We must not let our male colleagues overtly or covertly disrespect our female colleagues – Not only must we treat our female counterparts with respect, but we must ensure that our male colleagues do so. (Note: Many authors have highlighted the fact that women often disrespect other women. We must also do our part to prevent this and take action to stop it when it occurs.) We have the power to stop much of the covert disrespect that occurs toward women. By allowing it or not stopping it, we are, in effect, endorsing it. Let’s be more active and put an end to it!
7. Our female colleagues must be free to have a voice, an opinion, and a place – We can play a significant role in ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to speak, the ability to have input, and a place of respect and dignity in the workplace. By taking an active role of advocating for our female colleagues, we enhance fairness.

Again, I am not advocating special advantages, quotas, inequalities, or anything else that would advance an unqualified individual over a qualified one, regardless of sex, race, or anything else. However, men, we do have an important role to play in eliminating the ongoing disrespect and unfairness that often creates barriers for our female counterparts.  And, we need to step outside our comfort zone and take a chance on a talented female coworker.  Why not make an intentional effort to personally advocate and sponsor a talented female colleague in the New Year?  The rewards to her and the company will be significant!  And, it is rewarding to any leader to see someone you sponsor excel and contribute.  Give it a try!

In short, we must simply be fair and treat our women colleagues with the same respect we desire; allow them full opportunities to contribute; and publicly support them and their contributions. This is really true for everyone.  However, it is especially true for our female colleagues.  Guys, let’s do what we can to level the ENTIRE playing field for our female colleagues in 2017!  One last thought:

“An honorable man will deliberately work to ensure the respect, dignity, and opportunities for our women colleagues.  It is what you do, not what you say, that reveals your heart.”

 

Have you ever considered how “the right timing” has influenced or affected your life?  I recall early in my career a time that my entire division at work was eliminated.  I was married with a son, a daughter on the way, had a mortgage, and suddenly was without a job.  It took several months to get a new job, but my wife and I marvel how that job came at “exactly the right time.”  In fact, just when we thought things were getting desperate, we had two job offers on the same day within an hour of each other.  Timing….

Our family has relocated several times during my career.  Unless you’ve done that, it is hard to explain all the complexities of selling a house, buying a new one, moving your household goods, new schools, new neighborhoods, utility hook-ups, etc.  During these moves, it always amazed us how we always seemed to hit the housing market when houses were selling slowly and prices were low.  It seemed our timing was always bad when these events occurred.  Timing….

I recall all the times when a new friend came along at “just the right time.”  Or, when a new job opportunity occurred because “I was at the right place at the right time.”  Or, I think of the impact timing had when I met my bride back in high school, or when I played sports, or when I began writing journal articles, or when we implemented a new system at work.  Timing plays a significant part of every one of our lives… sometimes the timing is in our favor and at other times it is not.

But, how much of these events of our lives were really impacted by timing, or by the preparation we had made in our lives.  Yes, losing a job is never good, but what I considered “bad timing” at the time, turned out perfectly in the end.  Losing that job early in my career launched my career in the pharmaceutical industry.  Had I remained in that job, I might have taken a completely different life path.

Being prepared to take advantage of the “timing events” of our lives is perhaps all we can personally control.  Preparing our career in a way that provides flexibility and mobility is solid preparation.  Planning for emergencies and contingencies at home is smart.  Making the best of unexpected events can turn bad timing into a significant turning point if we approach these events with an optimistic and persevering attitude.  Knowing that timing is not always on our side can help us mentally prepare for alternative approaches, alternative plans, and alternative ideas.

So, the bottom line is this….  Don’t view the negative events of your life as “bad timing.”  View them as opportunities to go in a new direction.  See them as events happening “at just the right time” to try something new or shift outside your comfort zone.  Many of my life’s greatest adventures have occurred as a result of things that might have been considered bad timing at the moment.

So, after all, today might be happening “at just the right time.”  Enjoy it!

Just a few final thoughts to share today on the holidays and the New Year ahead:

1. Reunions – I was at the St. Louis airport before Christmas to pick up my daughter and her family from Utah.  This airport is a rather large hub for soldiers traveling home for the holidays.  So, there are plenty of opportunities to see heart-warming reunions.  I saw one family awaiting the arrival of their son.  You could see the anxiousness as they waited.  Then, the utter joy they experienced when their son arrived just melted my heart.  I am a sucker for these reunions anyway.  But, it just makes you appreciate more having family together when you think that many families of our service men and women were not able to experience that same joy.  Thanks to you that serve now, or in the past, or have loved ones away protecting the freedoms we enjoy!
2. Passing it on – We had a houseful of guests during must of the holiday season.  And, as is often the case, we had some sickness passed around.  This was the stomach bug that is even more feared.  It made me wonder if it is possible to fumigate a home after such a sickness to completely eradicate any left behind viruses.
3. A bad mix – Plastic baseball bats, glass Christmas tree ornaments, and 3-years olds are a bad combination.  Just saying….
4. Vintage – Earlier in December, my siblings and I were reminiscing about Christmas when we were kids.  One of the remembrances was the aluminum Christmas tree our mother had.  It stood about 4 feet high and used a rotating light to give it color.  My sister then found and gave to me as a gift a miniature version.  It has to be over 60 years old and stands about 2 feet high.  It has a skirt and vintage ornaments.  A photo is attached today.  What a wonderful gift from a wonderful sister!
5. Looking ahead to 2017 – We often feel the need to look ahead to what we’ll do differently, what challenges we face, or what new experiences we’ll have as the New Year approaches.  It is also a good time to look back.  We often fail to see the progress we are making because we fail to take that backward look.  Think for a minute about your experiences of 2016.  Think about the progress you made in your career or at work.  Would you want to go back and do 2016 all over again?  Think about the friends you made or friendships you nurtured.  Think about projects you completed, skills you learned, and fun times you experienced.  Those memories are precious and experiences you’ll never have again.  But, the new year will bring similar memories and new experiences.  A year from now, we’ll be amazed at how our lives are different, hopefully better, as a result of 2017.  Take time today to cherish the year we are just completing, but let’s look ahead with excitement and anticipation as we prepare to turn the page of another calendar year.

Thanks to each of you that I call a friend, a colleague, a neighbor, a family member, or even just a connection.  The wonderful people of my life make each new day a new adventure for me.  I look forward to what we will experience together in 2017!

One of the most significant challenges any of us ever face in the workplace to telling our boss that he/she is wrong. How do you walk that fine line between potentially angering the person that controls your career food, air, and water versus sanding up for what you believe is right.  Because this tightrope is so difficult to navigate, most individuals choose the least risky choice of simply nodding and saying nothing.

Any boss that is satisfied with his/her teammates being “bobbleheads” and never voicing a dissenting opinion is one with either a very low self-esteem or an extreme love of power or both. However, these bosses frequently get less than acceptable results because of group-think or that feeling of “go along to get along” perpetuated by that boss.

I do believe, and witnessed it in my own career, that we gain courage as our career advances. The “filter” that might have pushed us into bobblehead-mode early in our career seems to dissipate as we gain confidence and career success.  However, there are times throughout our career that we need or must generate the courage to simply communicate to our boss, “You are wrong.”  How do we do that without completely ruining our relationship with our boss?  How can we do it without embarrassing our boss?  How can we do it most positively and productively?

Here are a few suggestions on how you can approach your boss when he/she might be wrong. Some of these are most appropriate when you need to speak up in a public setting, while some might be more effective in a private, one-on-one meeting.  In any event, these approaches may help you cross the line without ruining the relationship:

1. Have you ruled out any other possibilities? – This is a low risk question to simply encourage a dialogue on other alternatives. If your boss does agree to articulate other possibilities considered, it might allow you the opportunity to inject your thoughts on why his/her approach may not be the proper choice.
2. Would it be OK if we discussed some of the risks of this approach along with ways to mitigate them? – Most leaders welcome an opportunity to discuss risks and their mitigation. Thus, when you ask your question in terms of risk, you open the door to a discussion on why other alternatives might pose fewer risks.
3. Could you talk about some of the factors you considered and how you came to this decision? – This approach solicits the wisdom of the leader that gets him/her talking about the factors considered and the rationale behind the decision. In the ensuing discussion, you might be able to discuss the risks posed by this approach.
4. There are some factors that you might not be aware of. Can we talk about those and how they might affect where we are headed? – This approach seeks to provide new or additional information for the boss to consider. This “new” information might give the leader a way to reconsider without appearing to vacillate on the decision.
5. Would it be OK to discuss a similar situation we had (or that I experienced) in the past and what we learned from that? – This approach seeks to provide a new perspective from someone that has experienced a similar situation – again, new information that might give an opportunity for reconsideration.
6. Could we tabulate the pros and cons of this approach, so we could better visualize how to communicate this to others? – This approach does two things: it creates a very visual way to better assess the decision and it facilitates a discussion on communication that can lead to a “what if” or “why” dialogue.
7. Would you be open to a discussion on why another approach might be better? – This is the direct approach that seeks to elicit an open discussion. This direction is preferred when the boss is confident and has demonstrated trust in your opinion in the past.

 

To achieve success, we cannot afford group-think that takes us down the wrong road. We need to have the courage to speak up when a decision or direction is not right or when it could be improved.  Think about how the approaches outlined above might be helpful in these situations and during critical conversations.

Have a terrific and successful day!

 

Merry Christmas!

The world is inundated these days with superheroes. We see movies about Superman, Spiderman, Star Wars, and others. Our children wear clothing with the superstars of cartoons. Even the youngest of children can sing the songs of Disney heroes. Adults even adore the heroes of books, the theater, TV, and music. But, what about Christmas? What about the Superheroes of Christ’s birth?

Certainly, the Bible is full of heroes and superheroes. The Christmas story includes: Mary, Joseph, the Shepherds, the Wise Men, the Inn Keeper, and others. We cherish this story of centuries ago as both the birth of our Savior and the birth of Christmas. However, who are the superheroes in Christmas today?

Well, I contend that there are at least five Superheroes that we need to celebrate this and every Christmas season. Let’s take a look at each and the superpowers that result from each:

1. Faith – First, is the Superhero I call Faith. The book of Hebrews in the Bible calls Faith “the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.”  Faith is that confidence that what we hope for and believe is true and will happen. Faith is that confidence that our chair will hold us up when we sit in it. It is that trust that what God says is true. Faith sustains us when life becomes difficult and motivates us to go another step or another day. Without Faith, we can’t really celebrate Christmas and its true meaning at all. Faith in the Christmas Child is the only thing that can bridge that gap between us and God. Without Faith, there is no Hope.
2. Hope – How can we go through life without our next Superhero Hope? Hope is that Superhero that connects our life today with God’s promise of everlasting life. Hope keeps us focused. Hope saves the day when we think things can get no worse. Hope walks with us when our loved one has died, when we have lost our job, or when our child has gone astray. Hope is powerful! Hope does what no earthy, normal hero can do. Hope is that Superhero that introduces us to Peace.
3. Peace – Peace is that Superhero that everyone on earth seeks. Peace can be elusive or mysterious. However, Peace is one of the three Superheroes that only appear after we have experienced Faith and Hope. Peace is that hero that goes deep within us to combat those villains of anxiety, despair, fear, and misery. Peace rocks those guys! Peace is that feeling we get when we experience the Faith that gives us Hope. It is a trust that cannot be fully explained, but is that hero that can immediately change our day or our lives. Without Peace, it is nearly impossible to experience the Joy of which we sing at Christmas time.
4. Joy – Joy is that Superhero that will never leave us, once we have experienced it. Joy is that base-level part of our being that is present regardless of our circumstances. To me, the Superhero of Joy can be described like this,  “Happiness depends to a large degree on our circumstances, but the joy of God is ever-present and ever-working to impact our lives and the lives of those around us.”  Joy finds us when our friends desert us. Joy is not afraid of the dark, our enemies, our thoughts, or our problems. Joy will stick to us when we have nothing else. Joy doesn’t have to have a GPS to find us because she is with us wherever we go. And, Joy is the one that produces Love in our lives.
5. Love – Love is that Superhero in our lives that others can see and that impacts, not only our own lives, but the lives of others, as well. Love is that Superhero that can change the world around us. Love is all-powerful and is that Superhero invented by God and that comes to us straight from Him. The Bible (in 1 Corinthians 13) says this about the Superhero Love:  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. …. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Love is the greatest and most powerful of the Christmas Superheroes.

So, there you have it… the five Superheroes of Christmas! Have you ever experienced these guys? Do you have them in your life guarding you, protecting you, changing you, and, as a result, changing others around you? Without these Superheroes, Christmas is empty and, in truth, without meaning. It all starts with Faith. The Bible says (in John 3:16), “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.” If you believe this is true, you can have the Superhero of Faith. Just trust God, ask Him to forgive you, and promise you’ll do your best to live for Him the rest of your life. By placing your faith (little “F”) in Him, God will give you Faith (big “F”). When you have the Superhero of Faith, all the rest of the Superheroes of Christmas will follow in your life.

If you would like to know more about these Superheroes or how you can find that Superhero of Faith, feel free to send me a note and I will help. God loves you and wants everyone to experience Christmas in all its wonder and excitement… the way He intended… with the five Superheroes of Christmas!

I hope this is your best Christmas yet!

One of my favorite Christmas songs is The Little Drummer Boy. I realize that there is no reference in the Bible of a drummer boy and his encounter with the baby Christ, but the words of this song are so poignant that you can imagine it really happened.

To sum it up, the song talks of a little poor drummer boy that has no gift to bring to the baby King. So, he brings the only thing he has… himself. He plays a song on his drum for Mary and the baby and says, “I played my best for Him.” You can see a very nice version of this song at the link below.

In many ways, this song sums up the true meaning of Christmas:

1. Christ is the King and deserves our honor – Jesus fulfilled centuries of prophesy that God would send a Savior, His Son to redeem the world. The baby Christ is God in the flesh given to us as the most intimate and ultimate gift of all-time. He deserves our honor, our worship, and our obedience.
2. There is no earthly gift we could bring that is worthy – Though God’s Word says that earthly kings came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, there is truly nothing we could bring that is adequate to express our thanks for what God has done through Him. After all, He is the Creator of the earth, so we really have nothing we can offer that isn’t already His.
3. There is nothing else we can do that is worthy – Though the little drummer boy did the best and only thing he could do for the newborn King, it was truly inadequate. The same is true for us… there is nothing we could do in our entire lifetime that would earn God’s redemption. Though many try to “earn” God’s blessings and His promise of eternal life, there is nothing we could do ourselves to bridge the separation we have from a perfect and holy God.
4. Christ alone is worthy – This baby King, Jesus, ultimately did for us everything needed to restore us to a right relationship with God. He died on the cross and was miraculously resurrected to fulfill prophesy and pay our debt for our own sin. There is nothing we can do on our own behalf because Jesus alone is worthy. When we accept Him and His sacrifice to pay for our sins, we are restored to God and can look forward to an eternal home in heaven.

Christmas is not what we can do for God. It is not what we do for others, though we have a duty and honor to serve and meet the needs of others. Christmas is about what God did for us through that baby Christ born in the most humble way possible over two thousand years ago.

So, what is the only gift worthy of the King? That gift is our faith in Him and our acceptance of His sacrifice for our sins. That is really all we can offer that matters. I hope your Christmas is meaningful this year… full of hope, full of joy, and full of love for our King.

 

The Little Drummer Boy (lyrics alone)

Come they told me

A new born King to see

Our finest gifts we bring

To lay before the King

So to honor Him

When we come

Little baby I am a poor boy too

I have no gift to bring

That’s fit to give our King

Shall I play for you

On my drum

Mary nodded

The ox and lamb kept time

I played my drum for Him

I played my best for Him

Then He smiled at me

Me and my drum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_MGWio-vc