Do you ever get frustrated trying to get things done, but your team seems to be more concerned with who gets the credit than what is important to the company?  Do you see individuals that seem to make every issue “all about them”?  How can we help our teams be more concerned with the outcome than the credit (or blame)?  A colleague recently sent me the short article below that illustrates this perfectly.  It should also strike a chord with all you Star Wars fans out there.  Take a look and see what you think:

The Star or the Story: What’s Most Important? (by Tim Elmore)

If you’re like most Americans, you bought a ticket and saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the biggest movie blockbuster of last year. It will likely break all kinds of records before its run in the movie theatres is over (indeed, it already has).  Here’s a story about the movie, however, that I loved most.

Movie star Daniel Craig, who’s played James Bond for the past decade, asked to make a small cameo role in the movie. That’s right. Even though he has starred in some 45 other films, he simply wanted to be part of this paramount story that began almost forty years ago.  It turns out that Daniel Craig played a Storm Trooper. Yep. A storm trooper suited up in that white, hard-shell costume. He never took his helmet off, so we never knew the figure was actually a movie star. We couldn’t tell who was playing what role.  The Independent reported a quote from a knowledgeable source months ago, who went on record to say:

“Daniel [Craig] asked for some sort of secret cameo role – and was happy to have his name left off the posters. Fans will love trying to work out which covered-up character is him.”

What’s more, Daniel Craig wasn’t the only star. Thomas Brodie-Sangster (star in Love Actually, The Maze Runner and Game of Thrones) and Ewan McGregor (who played in earlier Star War films, among others) also make cameo appearances in the movie. In all, 24 movie stars played cameo roles, and most of them you probably missed.  Why?  I can only venture a guess. The story is so big, and so important in film history, that these actors are happy to play any role, even when it’s not a starring role. In short, they’re willing to play a relatively small role in an incredible story, regardless if it’s central. It’s about being in the story, not being a star.

In our world that pushes kids to build a platform, to garner Followers, Likes, Shares and Views, there is a valuable and rare lesson to be learned here. According to International Business Times, the average person will take 25,000 selfies during their lifetime. Many young women spend approximately five hours a day taking selfies. Millions of parents have told their children they are special, that they are “stars!” Unfortunately, many never learn to value the team. It’s all about them.  The lesson here is about helping kids exchange the selfie for the portrait. While I want my two children to feel special, too, I believe we’ve missed sending an important message to this generation of kids.  It’s better to participate in a large and significant cause (story), regardless of who gets famous, than to be the star of a smaller, less significant story. Somehow, I think many adolescents have received the message: You have to be the star, or it’s not worth it. It’s a sad commentary on our day. We must show our kids the big picture, that the cause is more important than any one character. A portrait’s larger than a selfie—meaning it’s much more fulfilling in the end to participate in a team effort, doing something momentous and noteworthy, than insist on being the central figure.  It’s about the story, not the star. Just ask Daniel Craig.

I like Elmore’s last line… “It’s about the story, not the star.”  Understanding this ourselves, then transferring that to our teams, is a vital step in moving past the credit/blame game that hinders our progress.  As much as we would like to think, sometimes, that our role, our work, our efforts are about us, we must know that we are part of something much bigger.  We are each playing a critical role in something significant.  Believing that “it’s about the story, not the star,” can help give us the perspective we need to be the best team player we can be.  It can also help us become the best parent, the best spouse, or the best friend we can become.

 

Previously on The Porch, we looked at some of the recent comments I have seen relating to leadership.  Today, we look at a few quotes or comments relating to how we treat others.  Take a look:

“Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right.  We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.” – Unknown

“No matter how educated, talented, rich or cool you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all.  Integrity is everything.” – Unknown

“Work hard in silence, let success make the noise!” – Unknown

“Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress.” – Richard Branson

If I could sum up these four comments, it would be, “People are often more impressed with those things we do that are least intended to impress.”  Treating others with respect, focusing on others – not self, allowing your work to speak for itself, truly caring for others…  if you live like this, success and satisfaction will surely follow.

 

Tom Peters authored the best-selling book, In Search of Excellence in 1982, yet it still has a following today.  In this book, he spoke of the attributes of companies that had achieved a level of excellence or differentiation from others.  Peters is a frequent speaker at conferences and meetings and has a number of things to say about companies, management, leadership, and career development that apply to us today:

1. “Management is about arranging and telling. Leadership is about nurturing and enhancing.” – Notice the difference between managing and leadership according to Peters.  Leadership is always about people, not things.  Leadership influences, not directs.  Management gets obedience; leadership gets partnership.  Which gets you to respond better?

2. “Leaders don’t create followers, they create more leaders.” – Notice the goal of leaders — to create more leaders.  A good leader does not seek to attain a following.  A good leader seeks results that are sustainable and not dependent upon them.  Are we intentionally creating more leaders?

3. “The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity.” – Do you function best in an environment that drives to attain a goal or one in which the leader appreciates, nurtures, and enhances you?  Are we intentionally creating that type of environment?  What can you do in your sphere of influence?

4. “I think it’s wonderful to save the world, but you need to be part of the world, too.” – The context of this quote was that Peters spent much of his life trying to save the world, but, in the process, missed out on life’s simple pleasures and did not realize it until it was too late.  We need to realize that some opportunities in life come only once and we may not get a second chance.

5. “A passive approach to professional growth will leave you by the wayside.” – Here, Peters speaks about the need to manage your own career.  If we leave it up to someone else to guide our career, find our next opportunity, develop our skills, or influence others, we will not attain all that we could if we take responsibility ourselves.

What is Peters saying to you today?  Have an awesome one!

Today, we feature one of my favorite Winnie-the-Pooh quotes (actually, A.A. Milne, the author) today:

“There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”               

                                                                 – A.A. Milne (from Winnie the Pooh) –

This quote speaks to self-confidence and belief in yourself.  Too many of us struggle simply because we are aren’t brave enough or don’t think we have the strength or intelligence to accomplish all that we’re capable.  Certainly, there are some with the opposite problem… over-confidence.  Both problems (lack of confidence and over-confidence) often result from a lack of self-awareness.  However, for today, let’s focus on the former… those with a lack of confidence.

I have witnessed many individuals in my nearly 61 years on earth that failed to achieve significant things in their life for one reason… they did not have the confidence in their own abilities to make it happen.  The chief difference in two individuals with the exact same education, background, abilities, and experience – where one becomes President of the company and the other remains a team member in a functional unit –  is often one thing… self-confidence.  There are several reasons why one individual lacks self-confidence and another does not.  Here are a few reasons I have seen:

• Previous failures – “I messed up once and will never let that happen again.” – If Thomas Edison or Abraham Lincoln had felt that way, we would have never heard of them or their ultimate achievements!
• Fear of failure – “I don’t want to let anyone down by messing up.” – You are more likely to let someone down by NOT taking a risk and going outside your comfort zone at least occasionally.
• Low risk tolerance – “I will step out, but I want to be 100% sure before I do… of course, I’ll probably never be that confident.” – Why not be adventuresome and “go for it” when you get to 80% sure?
• Comfort in “the rut” – “I like it right where I am, doing just what I’m doing.” – Some individuals will never be coaxed out of the rut.

I’m sure there are other reasons, but the fact is, many have that fear of stepping outside their comfort zone.  Thus, they keep some or much of their full potential hidden.  Back to Winnie-the-Pooh…

So, what is A.A. Milne saying to us today about confidence?  There are three key points to this quote:

1. Braver than you believe – Most individuals have an innate fearlessness that can be developed.  For example, an individual with a fear of heights might have to crawl to the edge of the Grand Canyon on their first visit.  But, as they do it more and more, they can eventually walk to the edge and, perhaps, eventually run to the edge with confidence.  Courage in everyday life is much the same.  Consider public speaking (the more you do, the better you get) or changing a baby’s diaper (on second thought, maybe that never gets easy…).  Once we take that first step of courage, the next one becomes just a little bit easier.  Eventually, you become more comfortable taking a risk, speaking up, volunteering, using candor in a discussion, or making an important decision.  Most individuals have more courage (bravery) than they ever believed, but they must take that first step to exercise it.
2. Stronger than you seem – Many individuals seem to have a challenge making their point, having their opinion heard, or having others believe in their abilities.  Others have not yet discovered the inner strength they have.  But, for others to see that strength, we must believe it exists and feel confident in our abilities to use it.  In short, we must believe that we can do more than we have ever shown before.  We must know that our opinion is important and our skills are sufficient.  We need to exhibit that inner strength that we know we possess.
3. Smarter than you think – Why do many individuals continually feel that everyone else is smarter than them?  It is amazing what we are capable of accomplishing is we will simply know that we have the intelligence to make it happen.  You don’t have to always think you are the smartest person in the room, but you can believe that you have the same potential to contribute that anyone else in the room has.

Past failures are not a predictor of future successes.  It is time that we move forward out of our comfort zone and do what we know we are capable of doing.  Be brave, be strong, and be smart today.

Whether you realize it or not, there are a number of other individuals that can have a positive impact on your career development.  We can choose to go through our careers alone, but finding others willing to invest in your career can be the difference between a mediocre career and a fantastic one.  Additionally, for those farther along in their careers, serving others can make your own career more fulfilling and enjoyable.  So, take a look at these to see whether any might make a difference to you:

1. Mentor
   • Individual that dedicates time to a mentee to provide perspective, honest feedback, suggestions, experiences, guidance, etc. on an ongoing basis
   • A mentor can be part of a formal program or informal
   • One that helps guide an individual on career choices, alternatives, etc. in a confidential manner

Example: Senior individual assigned to a junior individual to meet twice/month to share experiences and work to advance the career of the junior member

2. Coach
   • Individual that provides specific feedback on a given situation or activity
   • Individual that guides an individual in a specific area or targeted behavior improvement
   • Individual that consistently provides feedback to give behavioral or performance improvement

Example: Supervisor or co-worker that provides feedback to you after a meeting you led providing constructive criticism on things to do differently the next time

3. Sunshine (opposite of Shadow)
   • Individual that allows another individual to follow or observe what you do or how you do your job
   • Individual that shares insight on a particular job or activity

Example: Individual willing to let you follow them around for a day to learn what your job is about and how you perform under normal circumstances (e.g., you might shadow someone involved in project management to learn whether you might like to work toward a career in that area)

4. Advocate
   • Individual that frequently speaks up for or advocates for a specific individual or an individual’s talents/skills/abilities
   • One that will “go to bat” for another

Example:  Your former supervisor consistently speaks up for your during annual talent review discussions or directly works with others to advance your career

5. Sponsor
   • An advocate that will potentially put their own career on the line to support another individual
   • Strong, vocal supporter that diligently seeks the advancement of another individual

Example: Individual that independently works to advance an individual by seeking new opportunities, creating opportunities, etc.

Do you have or are you serving in any of these roles?  Can you see how your own career might benefit if you became involved in one of these career enhancement relationships?  Please find someone that can and is willing to speak with you about these roles and how you might benefit.  Without these individuals involved in your career, you can be successful, but your odds of career acceleration are greatly improved when you ask someone else to invest in your career.  And, by personally investing in the career of others, you enhance your own gratification as you watch them benefit from your experience.  Have a great day!

 

Previously on The Porch, we looked at other elemental skills for great leaders.  Today, we look at the element:

“Decisiveness without Diversity of Opinions leads to disengagement”

No question, decisiveness in a leader is important. How many of us have seen leaders that simply could not make a decision in a timely fashion? A lack of decisiveness is frustrating and costly in time and resources. So, decisiveness is good, right? It is unless that decisiveness occurs without facts or the reasoned opinions of others.

Let’s look at a simplistic example… You decide to make soup this coming Saturday because the weather forecast calls for cold and snow. Hot soup sounds terrific! You decide to invite some friends and neighbors over to your house to share the soup. You decide that you’ll make corn soup… because that is the only kind of vegetable you have in the house and you don’t want to make a special run to the grocery store. You start making calls to invite others to your house for soup. You make the first call. “John, would you and Mary like to come to our house on Saturday for some hot soup?” John says, “Sure, what kind of soup are we having?” You say, “We’re having vegetable soup, but the only vegetable will be corn, so I guess it will really just be corn soup.” John offers, “Hey, we have some carrots. Can I bring those to add to the soup?” You agree and make the second call. Before you are finished making calls, your guess have offered to bring beef, potatoes, tomatoes, cabbage, celery, and onions. Now, your soup will be true vegetable soup! Someone even offers to bring some cheese and crackers to round out the meal.

This scenario plays out in our lives and workplace, as well. Sure, we can be decisive. But, our decisions may be based only on what we have to offer… the facts we have been provided, our own experience, and our own perspective. However, when we allow the input and opinions of others, we begin to see how the diversity and totality of all our combined facts, experiences, and perspectives can result in a much better, more informed decision. In fact, some may even offer completely different perspectives (e.g., cheese and crackers) that make the result even better and more complete than if we had limited the input.

So, hopefully, you can see from this example that, though we value decisiveness from our leaders, it is equally important to create an environment where we value the diversity of opinions and perspectives that can make our overall decisions more complete and better. Bottom line… great leaders are decisive, but they solicit and incorporate the varied viewpoints of everyone on the team. And, everyone on the team feels free to share their opinions whether or not they are in agreement with others.

Have a great day! Ah, vegetable soup does sound inviting this late January day.

 

Have you ever heard the term “group think?”  Group think is the concept that you and others decline the opportunity to express your opinion on a subject resulting in a very poor final decision being made.  An investigation into the NASA Challenger disaster (the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger in 1986 resulting in the death of all seven crew members) revealed that group think was largely responsible for o-ring failure which was assigned as the root cause).  Group think is also illustrated by the Abilene Paradox, a short story about four individuals contemplating what to do on a hot summer day:

                                    The Road to Abilene (aka The Abilene Paradox)

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family (husband, wife, father-in-law, and mother-in-law) is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner. The wife says, “Sounds like a great idea.” The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, “Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go.” The mother-in-law then says, “Of course I want to go. I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.

One of them dishonestly says, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?” The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, “I wasn’t delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you.” The wife says, “I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that.” The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon

Group think can be a dangerous trap.  Despite the opportunity for several individuals to voice their opinion and, perhaps, collectively reach a better decision, they quietly go together “down the road” to a poor result.  Does group think happen in our work environment?  Sure, I think most or all of us would say that there have been times when you knew that the group was headed toward a poor decision, but no one would speak up to challenge it.

So, if we know that group think happens and we agree that it does not lead to the best decisions, what should we do to prevent it?  Here are a few suggestions:

1. Individuals  – We all need other people in their lives that will speak up and honestly say when we are headed down the wrong road.  Having an accountability partners (e.g., a strand of three cords) or someone else that we have specifically given permission to hold us accountable is a critical step to ensure we don’t “go to Abilene.”
2. Leaders – Anyone that has a responsibility to lead others must take special steps to ensure that the opinions of others are important.  Several steps can be taken:
   • Repeatedly state that all opinions count – give permission to disagree with you
   • Reward or recognize those that do offer differing opinions
   • Never, ever denigrate anyone that offers a differing opinion or disagrees (respectfully, of course) with you
   • Create a safe haven for opposing viewpoints, even encouraging it (for example, before any final decision is made, you can state, “OK, if we were on the other side of this issue, what arguments or comments would we have to support the other viewpoint?”  In other words, intentionally raise and discuss opposing viewpoints before making that final decision.)
3. Everyone – Resolve’ to exercise more candor.  We need to be bold or courageous when we have an opposing viewpoint.

Let’s resolve to avoid that “road to Abilene” that can hamper our success and overall satisfaction.  Thanks for all you do!  Have a “top ten” day!

 

You have probably heard it said,

“A single cord is easily broken; two cords together are stronger, though still easily broken; but, a strand of three cords is not easily broken and can withstand much.”

The reference here is targeted toward relationships with others.  Though we might have a preference or desire to “go it alone,” one person may not easily withstand the challenges we face.  Having a relationship with one other is better, but having a partnership with two others is better yet.

Let me illustrate…  I have often seen an individual react in disbelief when provided with honest feedback on their performance, behaviors, or the overall value they provide to the organization.  It is very easy for us to fool ourselves into believing what we want to believe about ourselves, not the actual truth.  We do not easily give ourselves honest feedback.  My observations over many years at multiple companies with hundreds of year-end self-appraisals reveals that the percentage of individuals that rate themselves as “exceeds” would be >50%.  Yet, the final percentage of “exceeds” is a third or less than that.

Why do individuals struggle to have “self-awareness?”  How can we become better at understanding our gaps… thus, having the opportunity to improve?  That is where the three strands of cord come in.  If we each had two other individuals that we trust and that would provide that unbiased, honest feedback (and, do the same for each other), that strand of three cords would become stronger.  Each individual cord would become stronger and the combined strand of three cords would be much more able to withstand the challenges of the job or difficulties in your personal life.

Let’s look at some specific examples of how a “strand of three cords” can be beneficial:

1. Regular feedback on how you handle specific situations  (“Did I handle that situation with him well?  What should I have done?”)
2. Individuals to bounce ideas off without fear of criticism  (in effect, try out the idea before doing so in public)
3. Help embellishing or rounding out thoughts or ideas  (thought partners that can help answer “Am I missing something here?”)
4. Pre-review your year-end self-appraisal to ensure it is accurate
5. Individuals you trust that can share the load when it becomes too heavy
6. Help ensuring that you remain objective versus emotional
7. Individuals that can help you prepare for important presentations, meetings, or events
8. Accountability partners to help you stay focused and on-track to achieving goals, objectives, or personal targets

In short, when you ask two other individuals to partner with you* as a “strand of three cords”, you are admitting that the benefits of honest feedback and accountability from two others will help you become a stronger person individually and that your team of three can better withstand the trials that come to us all.  So, what do you think?  Is it worth a try?

Thanks for making this a great place to work.  Have an outstanding “best day yet!”

 

*It is best to find a regular, re-occurring time to meet (e.g., lunch once/week or a couple times/mo, for example) and make a significant effort to keep that time free.  Block it out on your calendar and keep it unavailable for anything else.

 

There is a saying that is meaningful to me, “Excuse me, but your actions are so loud that I can barely hear your words.”

My father-in-law owned a heating and air-conditioning business.  The business is still operating today and has been in the family since the 1920’s.  Often in the earlier days, an important supplier would provide business signs to be placed on their building.  Once, a supplier provided and hung on the business a sign that said, “Quailty service for over 50 years.”  Someone remarked to my father-in-law that the word “Quality” was mis-spelled on the sign on their building and he said, “Yes, I know, but our customers around town care more about the work we have done for them through the years than what is written on that sign.”  Sure, one could argue that excellence says we should be precise in what we do, even with the little things.  However, my father-in-law was making a great point… words are cheap.  It is our actions that really matter.

So, we can talk all we want about our standards for quality, its importance to our customers, our passion for compliance and excellence and first-time right, but if our actions say otherwise, we will have no credibility with those around us.  We can talk all day about how much we want to serve others, or how much we care, or our plans for next month, or what we’ll do for you.  However, if our actions say otherwise, we have no credibility.   Do we talk about our high standards, then act as one with low standards and little integrity?

So often, I see examples of words versus actions in life that speak very loudly.  For example, is it surprising to a parent that freely and openly consumes alcohol to get a call about their teenager who was caught drinking at a school dance?  Should we be surprised what our kids drive fast and recklessly if the only example they have ever seen from us is something similar?  Should we expect our employees to treat others fairly and honestly when we don’t treat them with respect and dignity?  Let’s never forget that the actions we take day-by-day are much more important and make a greater impact to those around us than the words we say.

Have an outstanding day!

   “Self-advancement without service to others leads to resentment and lack of trust”

I think each of us, when pressed, could name at least one individual whose primary purpose is to advance their own agenda, career, position, etc. with complete and utter disregard for anyone else.  How do you feel when you think of that person?  Do you trust that person?  Do you want to follow him/her?  Do you lay awake at night dreaming of the day when that person achieves his/her next promotion?  Of course, the answer to this is “no”.  None of us feels valued or motivated when we feel used.

However, there is a more subtle version of this type of leadership.  It is not blatant, but does exist.  Do you know anyone that comes to you only when they need your help?  Do you know individuals that frequently fail to return phone calls, answer e-mails, or acknowledge your presence until there is something they need from you or when they expect your support?  Eventually, continued treatment like this can also lead to resentment and lack of trust.

So, how important is it to establish or recognize service to others as a critical leadership skill?  One of my favorite quotes (and, one that I think about almost every single work day) is by Teddy Roosevelt:

      “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

How much you care matters!  And, you show how much you care by serving others.  Certainly, we all must manage our own careers.  But, when you manage your career without regard for others, you are doomed to fail as a leader.  Your team members will resent you and, eventually, their trust for you will diminish or disappear.  When you demonstrate that service to others is part of who you are and what you do, it is amazing how others will embrace you as someone that can be trusted.  When you are trusted, your team members are more likely to share their views, take more calculated risks, think outside the box, and, overall, strive harder for excellence.  When you are not trusted as a leader, members tend to withhold information and effort.  When you demonstrate that your own career is more important than that of your teammates, resentment soon follows.

If you sense resentment and lack of trust on your team, could it be that you have elevated your own interests above those of your team members?  Are you someone that serves others?  Can you remember the last time you did something for someone else that you knew could never repay you?  Here are some helpful hints that you might consider that could enhance your “servant leadership”:

• Ensure that you are not asking members of your team to do something that you would not personally do yourself
• Make a personal sacrifice to serve one or more members of your team
• Allow a member of your team to assume responsibility for a major project, make a presentation, or get exposure that you might normally desire for yourself
• Bring in donuts or pizza for your team
• Help your team accomplish a mundane task or help someone finish an activity that they might have to do after hours or on a weekend
• Praise your team members publicly for some accomplishment or activity they completed
• Take out the trash, unload the dishwasher, clean up the kitchen — do something unexpected that someone else might normally do
• Begin conversations with team members about how you can help advance their career aspirations
• Go to a play, ballgame, or other event for a niece or nephew just to show you care about them and what is important to them
• Write a personal love letter to your spouse or loved one – or, do something else unexpected or impromptu

Show your team or someone else how much you care today.  Do something!  Have a great, wonderful, terrific, swell day!  Thanks for all you do!