Several Aussie couples were recently asked who they would choose to have dinner with, dead or alive, if they could have dinner with anyone. Their children were then asked the same question.  See how it went at the following link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wfbY3i4FY0

I have to admit, if I had to answer this question, I would probably choose my parents, both of whom have been gone for many years. Or, I might choose my wife’s natural mother who died before I even met my wife.  Watching this short video throws a whole new perspective on that question, though.

Sometimes we think we owe so much time to so many others. We cram our days with work, workouts, meetings, deadlines, pick-up/drop-off times, etc.  And, most homes have days when you just grab whatever you can for dinner.  I would offer a bet that if our own children or grandchildren were asked the same question, they would answer the same way the children in the video answered.  All kids primarily want out of us is our time.  They may have desires and wants, but when it comes down to crunch-time, we are the most important people in their lives.

So, in case you have forgotten, think about this today.  Making dinnertime together a priority was always important in our own home and many of our family’s favorite memories still revolve around those dinnertime discussions.  Just “food” for thought today.

Have a fabulous day! And, remember why you do what you do and who you do it for as you go about your daily activities today.

Over the last several months, I have heard the career journeys for a couple dozen experienced and successful colleagues. Some have worked their entire careers at one company.  Others have changed jobs many times.  Most have relocated.  Many have faced challenges, layoffs, acquisitions, divestitures, disappointments, victories, and any kind of career event you can imagine.  All have had successful careers.  So, what is the best advice these individuals have offered?  What are those threads that are common to every successful individual?  Of course, there is much to be learned from others, but I have tried to capture those most critical elements they offer.  Below are seven items of advice I captured from the career journeys of others:

1. You own your own career – You cannot expect anyone else to manage your career. Certainly, you can rely upon mentors, bosses, and others to advocate for you. You can utilize their advice. You can lean on others for guidance. But, you cannot take the attitude, “I’ll just do my best and trust that things will work out,” and expect great things to happen. You need to take initiative. You need to take the ball and run with it yourself. The best advice I could give would be to envision what role or what responsibilities do you hope to have in five years. Ask yourself, “Can I get there from here?” If the answer is “yes,” then develop a plan that would make you the obvious choice when that opportunity arises. If the answer is “no,” then develop a plan to either make a significant career shift or begin looking for that next opportunity elsewhere.
2. Expect the unexpected – No individual has a career journey that did not involve an unexpected turn or two. You have to expect it… or at least not be surprised when it happens. In my own journey, I once was unexpectedly unemployed when my entire division was eliminated in one day. It was probably the best thing that ever happened in my career! It was that event that led me to the pharmaceutical industry… the best industry possible! So, it is good to have alternate pathways in mind. Make yourself indispensable in more than one area. Become an expert in something else.
3. Some risks are necessary – It is almost inconceivable in this day to spend an entire career without being faced with “that risky decision.” Taking some risks is almost synonymous with success. You have to be willing to venture out of your comfort zone… out of that nice, easy rut that you find yourself in. You may have to move into a new functional area. You may have to relocate to a city where you know no one. You may have to take a temporary role. In hearing the career journeys of the individuals I mentioned, almost everyone mentioned a role they had where they knew very little about the job before taking it. Most said they had to sink or swim right away. And, most said those roles were amongst their most satisfying afterward. Don’t be afraid to try something entirely foreign to you! If you can make it with that kind of role, you can make it anywhere.
4. Some sacrifices are required – Most individuals agree that sacrifices may be required to advance your career. For some, it means moving your family away from family, friends, and comfortable surroundings to a new area. For others, it means financial and time sacrifices to pursue additional degrees. For others, it means assuming roles you may not have chosen in order to learn something new. In every case, individuals were faced with those difficult decisions that involved tough choices. So, just be prepared… nearly everyone faces that fork in the career road that means making either a safe choice or one that involves personal sacrifice.
5. Learn from both the good and the bad – Every individual experienced good situations in their successful careers. However, each also experienced a very difficult situation… a bad boss, bad company, difficult time, high stress, negative consequences, etc. The advice from these experienced individuals is that we must learn from every situation. With a bad boss, learn how to treat others. Learn what you will never do when you are in that role. In a stressful position, learn how to deal with the stress successfully. Learn about yourself. Learn how you thrive. Learn how to survive. Learn from both the good and the bad.
6. Your network is critical – Every successful individual develops and nurtures a network of others. Most individuals experienced career advancement because of someone they previously worked with or worked for. Many had career surprises because of someone they met, someone that knew a friend, or someone that had something in common with them. You will be surprised how impactful a good and growing network can be to your career. Nurturing it is essential.
7. Pay it forward – Every individual also stated that they eventually came to a point where their greatest career desire was to “pay it forward” — to give back to others in ways that others had benefited their own careers. Making a difference for someone else eventually became a key driver to each one. Giving someone else a hand in the same way they had benefited became a career driver. Service to others actually accelerated careers in some instances. When individuals stopped becoming focused only on their own success, they saw their careers advance faster and in ways they did not expect.

I would have cherished such advice early in my own career. Knowing what to expect and having a chance to formulate my own plans, expectations, and journey with this advice in mind could have saved significant indecision, anxiety, and second-guessing had someone shared it with me then.  So, hopefully, those of you in the first half of your career can learn and gain from the wisdom of others.  And, those of you in the second half can see what is actually happening to you now and it might allow you opportunities for mid-course corrections. Finally, I hope all of us see, no matter where we are in our career journey, that paying it forward — seeking to add value to the lives of others — brings satisfaction and fulfillment that cannot be attained in any other way.

Thanks to those of you that have shared your own career journey. Have a great day and I hope that this wisdom helps everyone take that next career step.

 

Have you ever noticed that the very best leaders — the ones you truly want to follow — are those that lead with heart? By heart, several attributes come to mind:

1. Willingness to serve
2. Thinking of others first
3. Sharing their emotions without apology
4. Transparency
5. Doing what is right even in the face of opposition
6. Truly caring about others
7. Having an inner compass that always points north

Surely, there are some “leaders” that have obtained great success without exhibiting these attributes. But, those are the vast exceptions.  For most of us, give me a leader with heart and I’ll do everything I can to make that person successful.  Give me a leader without heart and I’ll grudgingly do only what is necessary.  Think about this and the quotes below on leading with heart.  Do you need to adjust your approach as a leader?

 

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• “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.”— John C. Maxwell

• “True leaders understand that leadership is not about them but about those they serve. It is not about exalting themselves but about lifting others up.”— Sheri L Dew
• “The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.”— William Hazlitt
• “Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.”— Braveheart
• “When your heart speaks, take good notes.”— Judith Campbell
• “The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.”— Deepak Chopra
• “Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”— Confucius
• “The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being.”— Lee Iacocca
• “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it.” — Steven R. Covey
• “The mind forgets but the heart always remembers.”— Anonymous
• “Great leadership usually starts with a willing heart, a positive attitude, and a desire to make a difference.”— Mac Anderson
• “We treat our people like royalty. If you honor and serve the people who work for you, they will honor and serve you.”— Mary Kay Ash
• “Try to help others. Consult their weaknesses, relieve their maladies; strive to raise them up, and by so doing you will most effectually raise yourself up also.”— Joseph Barber Lightfoot
• “When people go to work, they shouldn’t have to leave their hearts at home.”— Betty Bender
• “Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.”— Anthony J. D’Angelo
• “You do not lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
• “As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” — Bill Gates
• “To help others develop, start with yourself.”— Marshal Goldsmith
• “When we really connect to that place of wisdom and strength and understanding, everything becomes easier.”— Arianna Huffington
• “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”— Carl Jung
• “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.”— Jesse Jackson
• “Don’t believe everything you think.”— Byron Katie
• “If your goals aren’t synced with the substance of your heart, then achieving them won’t matter much.”— Danielle LaPorte
• “The heart is a muscle, and you strengthen muscles by using them. The more I lead with my heart, the stronger it gets.”— Mark Miller
• “A person’s world is only as big as their heart.”— Tanya A. Moore
• “If my heart could do my thinking, and my head begin to feel, I would look upon the world anew, and know what’s truly real.”— Van Morrison
• “Civility doesn’t weaken a message. It helps others hear it.”— Kate Nasser
• “Success isn’t about how much money you make. It’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.”— Michelle Obama
• “The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of.”— Charles H. Perkhurst
• “If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.”— Dolly Parton
• “Only do what your heart tells you.”— Princess Diana
• “One key to successful leadership is continuous personal change. Personal change is a reflection of our inner growth and empowerment.”— Robert E. Quinn
• “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.”— Eleanor Roosevelt
• “Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening.”— Rumi
• “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence, making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”— Sheryl Sandberg
• “Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”— Swami Sivananda
• “When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people’s hearts.” — Lao Tzu
• “Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”— Unknown
• “Please think about your legacy, because you’re writing it every day.”— Gary Vaynerchuck
• “Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.”— George Van Valkenburg
• “To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart.”— Sr. Thomas Watson
• “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”— Marianne Williamson
• “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.”— Malcolm X
• “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.”— Zig Ziglar
• “Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.”— Brené Brown
• “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.”— Helen Keller
• “Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
• “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”— Steve Jobs
• “A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”— Nelson Mandela

• “If you wish others to believe in you, you must first convince them that you believe in them.”— Harvey Mackay

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Thanks for making this a terrific day! It could be our very best yet — there is still a chance!

 

 

England suffered immeasurably during WWII. They were bombed repeatedly and the country suffered both physical and mental damage.  Sir Winston Churchill was their Prime Minister during the war and worked tirelessly to support the allied effort AND maintain the morale of his distressed countrymen.  During the height of the war in November 1942, Churchill gave a speech to his nation in which he sought to encourage them and motivate them to keep fighting and remain optimistic.  It was there he said:

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.  But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” – Sir Winston Churchill

Though already battle-fatigued, Churchill believed they would prevail in the end against the enemy and that his people, his team would win, but they needed to be resilient and optimistic, despite the challenge.

Churchill’s words are good for us to remember during challenging times we face. His words help us see that, though we may not yet be able to see the end, we can be certain that we are progressing toward the end.  We can know that every day we persevere is another day that brings us closer to our goals.  During the midst of wintertime, we often get a very nice, warm day with sunshine.  On those days, I often think that, though it may not signal the end of winter, it is one less day that we’ll have to endure cold and snow… each day brings us one day closer to the finish line.

So, for today, if you are facing a challenge, take heart in Churchill’s encouragement… though you may not know when this will end, you can be encouraged by the fact that you are marching toward the end. Each day brings you one step closer to victory.  In the end for England, Churchill did lead his people to a significant and victorious finish to the war.  It is said that his ability to keep his nation motivated played a huge role in the persistence and perseverance of the allied effort in Europe.

Take heart and stay encouraged. This really could be your best day yet!  Or, if not, it may bring you one day closer to that coming best day!

 

Today, we look at another of Aesop’s Fables. This one is relates to friendship:

The Bear and the Travelers (by Aesop)

Two Travelers were on the road together, when a Bear suddenly appeared on the scene. Before he observed them, one made for a tree at the side of the road, and climbed up into the branches and hid there.  The other was not so nimble as his companion; and, as he could not escape, he threw himself on the ground and pretended to be dead.  The Bear came up and sniffed all round him, but he kept perfectly still and held his breath; for they say that a bear will not touch a dead body.  The Bear took him for a corpse, and went away.  When the coast was clear, the Traveler in the tree came down, and asked the other what it was the Bear had whispered to him when he put his mouth to his ear.  The other replied, “He told me never again to travel with a friend who deserts you and the first sign of danger.”

The moral of this story, according to Aesop, is: Misfortune tests the sincerity of friendship.

Misfortune, or life’s challenges, truly do test the sincerity of friendship. Perhaps, in this story, the Traveler that ran for the tree was simply being practical.  “At least save yourself,” he might have thought.  On the other hand, adversity frequently exposes a true friend from merely a “Facebook” friend.  I have seen this clearly in my own life.  Over the last year in which I experienced a few health issues, I witness friends doing remarkable things for me and my family!  Though no one wants to experience adversity, seeing the reaction of others and how much they care warms the heart in a way that you may not have experienced without the adversity.

Seeing others experience adversity also tests us. When you see a bear threaten your friend, how do you react?  Do you head for the nearest tree or do you stand with your friend to fight together?  What have you done lately for a friend experiencing one of life’s challenges?  How have you supported a friend that has lost a job?  What have you done to comfort a friend experiencing a family crisis?  Who would count you as a friend that would never leave you when adversity strikes?

Have a fabulous day today! Let’s hope no bears come our way; but, if they do, let’s fight with our friends.

Shel Silverstein an American poet, singer-songwriter, cartoonist, screenwriter, and author of children’s books. In one of these books (“A Light in the Attic”), Silverstein included this poem:

In Search of Cinderella (by Shel Silverstein)

From dawn to dusk,
From town to town,
Without a single clue,
I seek the tender, slender foot
To fit this crystal shoe.
From dusk to dawn,
I try it on
Each damsel that I meet.
And I still love her so, but oh,
I’ve started hating feet.

Though this poem is certainly written for children, I think it can have meaning for us, as well. The Prince in Silverstein’s poem has a definitely goal that he seeks with diligence.  He spends all day every day working to achieve this goal.  Certainly, it is an admirable goal… to find his one true love.  However, he has allowed this effort to so consume him that he finds drudgery and comes to hate the journey.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever found yourself thinking that someday in the future you’ll be happy, or set, or satisfied, or able to do what you want?  Have you ever thought, “When my kids finish college and leave home, we’ll be able to do what we’ve dreamed?”  Or, “when I finish this degree…” Or, “when we pay off the house…”  Or, “when I get that next promotion…”  Or, “when I finish that last chemo treatment…”  It is so easy to get so caught up in believing that that ‘goal’ down the road will bring happiness that we come to hate the journey.  Then, that day comes when you have ‘achieved the goal’ you learn that it wasn’t the ultimate happiness you had hoped.  Don’t get me wrong, it is great to have life goals… almost essential.  It is noble to be focused, dedicated, and on a specific pathway to achieve something big.  However, we should work to avoid allowing this to become so important that we come to hate the process or hate the journey because you may wake up one day and wonder where the time has gone.

I think “Searching for Cinderella” was Silverstein’s way of saying, “We need to stop and smell the roses along the way.” Life is too precious, too wonderful, and too filled with large and small joys that it is simply wrong to miss it.  So, don’t let today go by without experiencing the smell of a rose along the way!

Thanks for all you do! Have a fabulous day!

 

(By the way, I attached a link to my favorite Cinderella-theme song this morning, as well. Enjoy!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrWMBC6yoME

 

 

Recently, a colleague sent me a cartoon showing three scenes: 1) what we dream of – this scene showed a rocket ship with a titanium-plated nose cone, long-range supersonic antenna, custom artwork, one-way viewport mirror, etc. – it was a very elaborate product, 2) what we settle for at launch – this scene showed a smaller rocket ship with plain antenna, plain nose cone, simple finishes, etc. – a very simple version of the rocket, and 3) what the user needs – a simple bike with small ramp. The point was that we often dream of a finished product that embodies all of the bells and whistles we can imagine, but settle for less – and even that doesn’t really meet the ultimate requirement.

That also reminds me of the question, “What problem are we trying to solve?” This is a great question to ask at the start of a meeting, when putting together a presentation, when forming a team, when beginning an initiative, when creating a process, or when resolving a conflict.  By pausing at the beginning to simply ask, “What do we want to solve?”, we might avoid significant time, expense, and complexity that, in the end, is not needed or even not wanted.

Perhaps you have heard someone mention “Rube Goldberg” or say “that is a Rube Goldberg approach” when speaking of a process or system. Rube Goldberg was a real person (a cartoonist) that created overly complex, over-engineered systems to solve simple problems.  You might also remember the game “Mousetrap” whereby a very complex arrangements of pulleys, levers, and devices used to simply lower a cage over a trapped mouse.  We do similar things in our lives.  In our work processes, we often create a form to request a form.  Or, we design a process with 8 steps that could just as easily be done with 3 steps.  At home, we often concoct an elaborate series of steps and activities simply to get dinner on the table on time.

Before we set about developing the steps needed or the process to be used, it is always a good first step to ask, “What problem are we trying to solve?” Then, “What is the most simple way to solve that particular problem?”  By pausing long enough to clearly articulate the problem and confine our solution to that one problem, we can avoid the over-design or over-engineering that made Rube Goldberg famous.  Give it a try!

Thanks to my colleague for sharing the cartoon! And, let’s all have a well-planned, but spontaneously happy day!  Remember, you never know when you might just have a “top ten” day!

I recently was able to visit Yellowstone National Park in the western US. Yellowstone is a beautiful place full of wildlife, stunning views, and amazing things to see!  While we were there, we actually saw an ongoing forest fire and the apparent destruction left behind.  Hills and valleys were literally black and still smoldering in some areas.  We also saw evidence of past significant forest fires in the park.  However, in these areas, we also saw something else… we saw the new growth coming to life in these areas.  You could see many new small trees and undergrowth occurring in these areas in the midst of tall remnants of the pine trees previously present.  This new growth was vibrant and had a beauty all their own.  You can see some of this in the photo above.  I read an interesting commentary about a previous forest fire in Yellowstone that captures this natural reforestation:

 

As quickly as they burned, Yellowstone’s forests also quickly came back to life. Even while fires were actively being fought in some parts of the park, other areas that had been burned were bursting with vegetation. Lodgepole pine cones are sealed with a sticky resin and actually need flames to open them so they can drop their seeds. So as the flames spread through areas, seemingly leaving them blackened and barren, they actually were reseeding the areas as they went. The result were tens of thousands of replacement trees that would sprout in the ensuing years.

 

So, as destructive and damaging as a forest fire might be, nature is able to use them for good… to create new growth and replenishment in the life of a forest.

It seems that life can bring about its own ‘forest fires’ — family problems, financial struggles, health issues, challenges with children, career disappointments, etc. We have probably all experienced a ‘forest fire’ of one type or another along our life or career journey.  Though it might seem to be pure devastation during the crisis, just like the forest, it is possible and likely that your own ‘reforestation’ process will occur.  Time seems to make things better.  It is difficult to think of reforestation in the midst of the burning hillsides and forests, but in the aftermath, you can often experience some comfort knowing that, in time, plant life will return, trees will begin to grow, and the wild life will return.  Though your forest may never be the same as it was, it can still achieve a new ‘normal’ that includes things better, perhaps, than they ever were before.  Trust that time will heal.  Lean on those around you.  And, begin looking for that new green undergrowth that is sure to reappear in time.

Thanks for all you do for those around you. And, if you know that a friend, neighbor, or coworker has recently experienced a forest fire, help them in their own reforestation process.  Have a “best day yet” — you never know when it might show up!

My wife and I just returned from a road trip covering nine states and over 3600 miles. One of our stops was to see the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota.  South Dakota is a beautiful state.  It is also one of those states that you can drive hours without a change of scenery.  However, in South Dakota, you do see a sign every two miles advertising “Wall Drug” – a tourist “destination” (e.g., tourist trap) in the town of Wall, SD.  See the photo shown above.  You can buy anything needed by a tourist in Wall from coonskin hats to Mt. Rushmore in a snow globe.  I was struck, however, by one of their roadside signs that simply said “YOLO”.  I later learned that this meant “you only live once.”  Well, one trip to Wall Drug is fascinating and fun, but probably enough.

Anyway, the YOLO term stuck in my head. You only live once!  That is so true.  My wife and I had talked about such a trip for years and finally did it.  How many things have you included on your “bucket list” that you may actually never get to do?  To me, YOLO does not mean doing risky activities without thought of consequences, but it does mean that we need to occasionally stop saying, “We’ll do that someday” and just do it!  It means knowing that you may only get one chance in life to say something, do something, or be something to someone else.  It means you might come to that crossroads only one time.  It means you may need to exert a dose of courage to make a point.  Someone once said:

“Most people regret more those things they didn’t do or say than those things they did do and say.”

So, today, you are encouraged to think about doing or saying those things that you may later regret if you keep delaying or putting it off. Be courageous and just go for it!

Thanks for all you do! Have one of those “best days yet!”

 

Today, we look at the ninth of The 10 Greatest Gifts principles outlined by Steven W. Vannoy in his 1994 book.  You will recall that we examined “integrity” the last time.  These principles also apply very well to adults working in the business world and can help us work better with others and understand, for ourselves, how we can be most productive and effective in every walk of life.

What is the principle of responsibility?  Vannoy defines it like this as he discussed the importance of this gift to our children:

“With the gift of responsibility our children learn to take charge of their own lives; along with integrity, they learn to help others work through the circumstances they face. With these qualities and values, we take full responsibility for our circumstances and our future.  We make intelligent decisions.  We live our lives with pride, fairness, and dignity.”

Being responsible…. I remember my parents talking about how we needed to be responsible for our own things, our own schoolwork, our own problems, etc.  It was clear to me at an early age that there were certain things in life that only I could manage or control and if I didn’t do it, it likely would not get done.  I’m thankful my parents taught me responsibility.  It prevents me from being the “victim” or the innocent bystander.  Let’s look at a few examples of responsibility:

1. “Clean up your room” to a child results in an organized adult that plans and executes well
2. “Finish your homework before you go outside to play” to a child results in an adult that knows how to prioritize their work and focus on the important things first
3. “Share your toys with your brother” to a child results in an adult that is a giver; one that focuses not on him/herself, but wants to make the world better for others, as well
4. “You have to do that report yourself” to a child results in an adult that understands that they must take responsibility for their own work
5. “You kids need to work together” to a child results in an adult that believes that a team can accomplish much more than any one individual
6. “Now, tell me the truth, did you do that?” to a child results in an adult that is honest and trustworthy
7. “Remember, taking care of your kitty is your job” to a child results in an adult that values life and others; that understands the needs of others and will do whatever is needed to meet those needs
8. “Please help your little sister with that” to a child results in an adult that understands the value of serving others and helping others through difficult times
9. “How do you feel when someone does that to you?” to a child results in an adult that is kind, has compassion, and can put her/himself in the shoes of others
10. “Let’s go outside and play” to a child results in an adult that knows the importance of leisure, fun, and activity and will make that a priority in life
11. “Sorry, but you’ll have to tell your teacher what happened” to a child results in an adult that admits their mistakes, seeks forgiveness, and wants to do better in the future

As an adult, it is not too late to develop the gift of responsibility in our own lives. How can you begin that journey today?

Let’s all have a terrific day! It might even be our very best yet!