Most days, The Porch has a story to tell, a point to make, or something intended to make us ponder how we can continuously improve our company, our lives, or our skills. Today’s edition of The Porch is none of that. It is simply a time to read and enjoy, perhaps even smile. As I have said before, much of life can be explained by Country and Western music. Just to prove it, I have listed below a number of actual song titles. I am hoping that none of these speak to real life in your world:

The Best Of The Worst Country and Western Song Titles

1. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

2. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

3. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?

4. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

5. I Would Have Writ You A Letter, But I Couldn’t Spell Yuck!

6. I’d Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

7. I’m Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

8. If You Don’t Leave Me Alone, I’ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

9. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

10. Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)

11. My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

12. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

13. Oh, I’ve Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

14. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

15. When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I’ll Think You’re Walking In

16. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

17. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

18. You’re The Reason Our Baby’s So Ugly

19. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Having You Here

20. Learning To Live Again Is Killing Me

21. The Last Word In Lonesome Is “me”

22. You Stuck My Heart In an Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log

23. The Next Time You Throw That Fryin’ Pan, My Face Ain’t Gonna Be There

24. I Don’t Know Whether to Come Home or Go Crazy

25. I Meant Every Word That He Said

26. Tennis Must Be Your Racket ‘Cause Love Means Nothin’ To You

27. Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?

Thanks for all you do! Have an awesome day!

Have you ever heard the saying, “Today is so important that you’re exchanging a day of your life for it?” I’m not sure who said it, but it can make you pause to consider whether you are adding or creating value today. Today on The Porch, we focus on a related quote by Henry David Thoreau. He was an American author, poet, philosopher, abolitionist, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, surveyor, and historian of the 19th century. Needless to say, he was an interesting guy. Nonetheless, let’s look at our quote for today:

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” Henry David Thoreau.

Certainly, life was different in the 1800’s. But, this quote is full of wisdom for us today. Here are a few points of perspective from me:

1. We should look at every activity in our life as though it has a price tag connected to it

2. Our lives are a series of exchanges – we exchange time and effort for value (or non-value)

3. We have a limited amount of life to exchange – we do not know when our ability to exchange life will end

The other way at looking at Thoreau’s quote is in terms of return-on-investment (or ROI). In monetary terms, it is easy to use ROI to direct our decisions. However, in terms of life, calculating ROI is much more difficult. As an example, what is the ROI for spending an evening alone with your spouse versus going to a baseball game with your friends? Or, what is the ROI for choosing your child’s soccer game over working an extra two hours on a project not due until next week? In short, we spend our lives making choices about the relative ROI for our activities. So, when you consider it that way, are you making the correct ROI decisions? Do your decisions on how you spend your time typically consider only the short-term gain or do you consider the long-term impact?

When I personally consider Thoreau’s comment on life and time, it makes me consider that the time that I pour into the lives of others has a high ROI versus the time I spend on things. Investing my time on activities that make a difference for others will always trump time spent on other activities. Now, certainly, I don’t always make these choices wisely, but it does make me re-think what I do and how I spend my free time. My personal goal for every day is to, in some way, add value to someone else’s life… do something that might turn a bad day into a good day for someone. In my world, I think this exchange is always worth the price of time that I pay. How about you?

Perhaps, this could be your very best day yet! You just never know.

No matter how good of a day I have had, when I am at the airport and it is time for boarding, they make me feel like a loser! It goes something like this:

“First, we would like to board our Elite, Platinum, and Superstar members. Please, everyone, clear the aisles to allow these truly special people direct access to the boarding gate. After all, these individuals are the cream of the crop, the best that society can offer, so we all need to treat them with the respect due them. Next, we’ll board our Gold members, our First-Class passengers, and any VIP in the gate area. Don’t forget, we have a uniformed officer and judge in the area to ensure that no one enters the gate that does not belong to this amazing group. After that, those of you that haven’t quite made it in life yet – you Silver members, airline employees, and anyone that does not drive a convertible sports car – may board. Please, do not rush or crowd that special group boarding ahead of you! Finally, after all of those passengers have safely boarded, the rest of you – those with zero status that matters to us – can come aboard. At this airline, we refer to you folks as beginners, has-beens, and wanna-bees. In short, you folks are losers. But, even losers deserve a chance to fly occasionally. So, when the coast is clear, we’ll let you scramble for a seat and overhead space.”

Have you ever felt that way? Then again, most of you are probably in one of those first few groups.

Isn’t it amazing how people (or society) judges individuals as either winners or losers? Despite this, I think we all know that there is a difference in individuals that have a winning attitude and approach to work or life versus those that always see themselves as losers, no matter the circumstances. We need to be winners! We need to all have a winning attitude. I thought it would be helpful to include a few quotes that help differentiate individuals with a winning approach to life versus those that do not.

1. “History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” – B. C. Forbes

2. “The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am. Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can’t do.” – Denis Waitley

3. “Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.” – Denis Waitley

4. “Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.” – Lou Holtz

5. “I have to introduce the part of me that feels like a winner to the part of me convinced I’m a loser, and see if they can’t agree to exist somewhere closer to the middle.” ― Lauren Graham

6. “Failures sit around and wait for good things to come to them; winners work until good things happen to them, and still continue to work.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

So, do these quotes about winners exemplify you and your approach? I think being a winner is a choice. How can we shift our thinking to one of action, of confidence, and of perseverance? Where are you today in the boarding gate of life? How about let’s jump to the head of the line?

Thanks for all you do! Let’s have a terrific day!

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day in the US. It is a day set aside to pay tribute to all the mothers that have made a difference in our lives. Thus, it is only fitting that we do the same this Friday on The Porch for the second of our tribute Friday series. You’ll recall that we began this series last week with our Tribute to Friends.

My own Mother died in 1997. She was a very young 62 years old at the time. But, she had a very important impact on my own life… what I believe, what I do, and why I do it. Those of you that still have your Mom, consider yourself blessed. Treat her special because when she is gone, a day will come when you would give anything for just one more hour with her. For those of you with Mom still in your life, this weekend would be a great time to express your love and appreciation for the impact she has had in your life.

A good friend of mine recently prepared a few thoughts of tribute to her own Mother. I’m sure each one of us could share similar sentiments. Thank you, my friend, for sharing your tribute:

As I grow older I have a deeper sense of respect and admiration for my mom. Looking back over the years I realize I learned many things by watching her in action. So in observance of Mother’s Day, I’m sharing a few of those lessons learned from the fabulous woman I call Mom.

1- Life’s not fair; get over it.

Checkers, chess, Scrabble, card games, basketball, whatever the game, my mom always seemed to win when we played. On more than one occasion I complained that is wasn’t fair that she always won. She never changed her strategy and never gave in to let me win. Her message to me was consistent. She would say, “If you want to win, you have to practice and get better; nothing in this life is handed to you.” She would always encourage me to do my best and would share her insights and motivated me to keep practicing. In the end, when I did finally win a game of checkers, it was a sweet victory because I knew I had earned it.

2- Study hard, work hard; it’s worth it in the long run

Mom was a math major by degree and a teacher by trade. She worked in a rural county school system where she could have easily been an 8 to 3:30 employee but she was never content with the status quo. She started her Master’s work when I was young and I can still remember the long hours driving to and from the university so she could attend night classes and all day on Saturday for computer labs. She was one of the first to school (early tutoring for students if needed and staying late for math team competition practice) and last to leave. She recently retired as one of the highest paid and highest degreed in the school district but more importantly she still receives words of thanks and praise from former students for her dedication to the job and to them.

3- There are no failures in life, only learning experiences (the summer of brown grass)

One June afternoon Mom made a decision to cut the grass “super short” so as to cut down on the number of times required to mow over the growing season- efficiency at its finest she thought. Although we lived in a rural county our house was located on the main road into and out of town and we did have a few neighbors. You can imagine the shock when after a couple of days the full 2 acre tract was full of brown dead grass. The grass finally recovered next spring.

4- Details are important

Mom, as a math major, loves numbers and problem solving from calculus to probability to algebra. At least on two occasions that I can recall she has visited her local bank branch to correct them regarding her checking account balance- once for 1 penny and once for 2 cents (the bank apologized both times). I attribute this as my early motivator for a career in QA.

5- You have talent; use it

My mom is a baker- breads, cakes, pies, and rolls- and she’s excellent at it. During the holidays we delivered a variety of cakes and goodies out to others in the community. I also remember her delivering hundreds of cinnamon rolls to the hourly workers at the local quarry just to let them know she appreciated the hard work they did.

To all of our mothers, thank you for working so hard to balance what is best for your family, while doing so much else for so many. As difficult as it is, it is clear that you are doing your very best. Enjoy this weekend!

Recently, I heard a speaker talking about some of the hardships in her life and how she was able to persevere. She talked about how, at her lowest point when she was on the verge of giving up, her grandmother said to her, “If you look for good, you’ll find good; but, if you are looking for bad, that’s what you’ll find.” That comment spoke to me personally. How often do we see only the negative? How many times, especially during times of struggle, do we completely ignore those good things in our lives and focus, instead, on the negative?

Similarly, if we are looking for the negative in people, that’s almost certainly what we’ll find. It is easy to criticize others because no one is perfect. We tend to nit-pick this or that and focus only on that which is wrong, or that could be better, or that we simply don’t like. On the other hand, when we intentionally look for the good in people, that is what we will almost always find.

So, what does this mean for us? Clearly, this tells me that I can choose what I find. If I choose to find the good, that’s what I will likely find and vice versa. I have a choice in what I find, how I see others, and, ultimately, my attitude.

Today, I choose to find good. I choose to see the good in everything, every person, every situation… I am starting my day knowing that this will be a good day, simply because I choose it. Let’s all give it a try today.  Now, let’s go have a good, or even a great day!

One of my favorite (or at least, one of my most used) quotes is this:

“Pardon me, but your actions are speaking so loudly that I can barely hear your words.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are several analogies to this quote, such as, “Words are cheap. Another often used analogy is, “Do what I say, not what I do.” The point is that we talk about the behavior we want others to exhibit, but it is the behavior we exhibit ourselves (or that we allow) that makes the difference.

So, what does this mean from a practical standpoint? Here are some examples:

At Home

· How can you expect to have children that don’t drink or use drugs if you drink or use drugs?

· You can’t expect your children to be honest, if you aren’t willing to demonstrate honesty with your taxes or with other people.

· Is it reasonable to expect a child to have a healthy lifestyle when your own lifestyle is the opposite?

· Your children will not treat others with love, respect, and dignity if they have witnessed you treating others poorly.

· A son learns how to treat women by watching how his father treats his mother.

· Most of us learned what we know about saving money, debt, and investing in others from our parents or other adult examples.

At Work

· You can’t expect your team to be motivated and energized unless you have made an intentional investment into them as a team and as individuals.

· If you have an unhealthy work/life balance, it is likely your team members will suffer from this, as well.

· If you insist on sending e-mails over the weekend regularly, you have forced your team members into constant monitoring of their devices.

· Employees can tell when you talk about the freedom to operate, yet micro-manage the details of their existence.

· Employees won’t trust you when you don’t give them a reason to trust you.

· Don’t tell someone you will do something for them unless you really intend to do it.

 

Here are a few things to consider as we try to align our words and our actions:

1. When we encourage others, we forget our own problems.

2. When we are truthful, we instill honesty in those around us.

3. When we are sincere, we encourage openness and trustworthiness.

4. When we show others we care, they will do remarkable things to support us.

5. When we remain positive in the face of discouragement, we motivate others to overcome adversity.

6. When we laugh, others relax.

7. When we exhibit vulnerability, others see our integrity.

8. When we support others, they will pull us up when we fall.

9. When we give a second chance, it usually pays us back a hundredfold.

10. When we go the extra mile, others strive to keep up.

11. When we show mercy, kindness flourishes.

12. When we serve others, they follow.

13. When we teach others well, they pass it on correctly.

14. When we give, we get.

15. When we are personally involved, the bond becomes stronger.

16. When we have fun, those around us thrive.

17. When we cooperate, the participation rate soars.

Thanks for making your world better through “doing” – not just talking! Have a terrific day!

It is amazing how difficult it is sometimes to move to the next chapter of your life or a project or a career. You get to a certain point and seem frozen wondering if you move forward or if there is more work to do. The question we ponder is, “When is enough, enough?” Let’s take a look at this today and try to provide some perspective with three examples:

1. We are at the end of the school year. And, for those of you with high school seniors in your family, this represents the end of childhood. It is time for your child to walk across that threshold to adulthood and independence. As parents, we wonder whether we have done enough or if there is still more work for us to do. I remember taking our son to his freshman year of college away from home. We drove the 3 hours to his university, unloaded the car, and said good-bye. The drive home for my wife and me was rather quiet. Finally, my wife commented, “You know, it has taken me 18 years to get good at my job as a mother and now, just like that, it’s over.” (Of course, she had a few more years with our daughters still at home, but this certainly was the beginning of that next chapter.) At times like this you wonder, have I done enough? Did I do my job well? What more could I have done? In the end, though, you have to let go and move on knowing that you still have more work to do, but in another way.

2. I have seen a real tendency in our own workplace for individuals to struggle to move forward in our work. There is always one more question to ask or one more data point to give you more confidence. Or, worse yet, there is that fear of being second-guessed, so you delay a decision or hope that someone else will make the decision. When is enough, enough? There is an old saying, “We’ve cut enough bait, now it is time to fish.” We simply cannot function in a fast-paced, pharmaceutical company when we believe every decision has to be without any risk. The best approach we can use is to determine how much risk exists, understand how much authority we have to make decisions, then move forward. If a decision is yours and others are depending upon you to make a decision, just do it!

3. On a personal note, I intend to retire at the end of the calendar year. When you get to a crossroads in your life, you probably ask yourself many of the same questions that have been going through my mind over the last several months. Have I done enough? Is there something I still need to do? Should I stay in that comfortable rut or take the jump and move forward? I think for me, and likely for us all, that you should get to the point when you can truly say that you’ve done enough… you’ve done your best… and it is time to move to that next chapter, whatever it is.

I guess the bottom line for today is this… It takes courage to move forward from that crossroads. You have to take that first step. And, we must all realize that a day will come when you’ve done enough and it is time to turn the page. Maybe, today is that day when you leave something behind and take that step forward that you know you need to take.

Have a most excellent day! There is a chance that this could be the day… our very best yet!

Today, The Porch simply lists a few quotes that can help us keep ourselves – and life – from becoming too serious. We need to pause at times just to keep our sanity. Much of life can be explained through country and western music and its lyrics, so here is one song quote that sets the stage:

“I’ve always been crazy, but that keeps me from going insane.” – from I’ve always been crazy by Waylon Jennings

So, here you have it:

1. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

2. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden

3. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

4. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain

5. “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

6. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

7. “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” – Robert Benchley

8. “All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner

9. “I have never been hurt by what I have not said.” – Calvin Coolidge

10. “There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.” – Josh Billings

11. “It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” – Jay London

12. “Only the mediocre are always at their best.” – Jean Giraudoux

There it is… today’s daily dozen. Don’t take yourself too seriously today. Have a great one!