Recently, I heard a speaker talking about some of the hardships in her life and how she was able to persevere. She talked about how, at her lowest point when she was on the verge of giving up, her grandmother said to her, “If you look for good, you’ll find good; but, if you are looking for bad, that’s what you’ll find.” That comment spoke to me personally. How often do we see only the negative? How many times, especially during times of struggle, do we completely ignore those good things in our lives and focus, instead, on the negative?

Similarly, if we are looking for the negative in people, that’s almost certainly what we’ll find. It is easy to criticize others because no one is perfect. We tend to nit-pick this or that and focus only on that which is wrong, or that could be better, or that we simply don’t like. On the other hand, when we intentionally look for the good in people, that is what we will almost always find.

So, what does this mean for us? Clearly, this tells me that I can choose what I find. If I choose to find the good, that’s what I will likely find and vice versa. I have a choice in what I find, how I see others, and, ultimately, my attitude.

Today, I choose to find good. I choose to see the good in everything, every person, every situation… I am starting my day knowing that this will be a good day, simply because I choose it. Let’s all give it a try today.  Now, let’s go have a good, or even a great day!

One of my favorite (or at least, one of my most used) quotes is this:

“Pardon me, but your actions are speaking so loudly that I can barely hear your words.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are several analogies to this quote, such as, “Words are cheap. Another often used analogy is, “Do what I say, not what I do.” The point is that we talk about the behavior we want others to exhibit, but it is the behavior we exhibit ourselves (or that we allow) that makes the difference.

So, what does this mean from a practical standpoint? Here are some examples:

At Home

· How can you expect to have children that don’t drink or use drugs if you drink or use drugs?

· You can’t expect your children to be honest, if you aren’t willing to demonstrate honesty with your taxes or with other people.

· Is it reasonable to expect a child to have a healthy lifestyle when your own lifestyle is the opposite?

· Your children will not treat others with love, respect, and dignity if they have witnessed you treating others poorly.

· A son learns how to treat women by watching how his father treats his mother.

· Most of us learned what we know about saving money, debt, and investing in others from our parents or other adult examples.

At Work

· You can’t expect your team to be motivated and energized unless you have made an intentional investment into them as a team and as individuals.

· If you have an unhealthy work/life balance, it is likely your team members will suffer from this, as well.

· If you insist on sending e-mails over the weekend regularly, you have forced your team members into constant monitoring of their devices.

· Employees can tell when you talk about the freedom to operate, yet micro-manage the details of their existence.

· Employees won’t trust you when you don’t give them a reason to trust you.

· Don’t tell someone you will do something for them unless you really intend to do it.

 

Here are a few things to consider as we try to align our words and our actions:

1. When we encourage others, we forget our own problems.

2. When we are truthful, we instill honesty in those around us.

3. When we are sincere, we encourage openness and trustworthiness.

4. When we show others we care, they will do remarkable things to support us.

5. When we remain positive in the face of discouragement, we motivate others to overcome adversity.

6. When we laugh, others relax.

7. When we exhibit vulnerability, others see our integrity.

8. When we support others, they will pull us up when we fall.

9. When we give a second chance, it usually pays us back a hundredfold.

10. When we go the extra mile, others strive to keep up.

11. When we show mercy, kindness flourishes.

12. When we serve others, they follow.

13. When we teach others well, they pass it on correctly.

14. When we give, we get.

15. When we are personally involved, the bond becomes stronger.

16. When we have fun, those around us thrive.

17. When we cooperate, the participation rate soars.

Thanks for making your world better through “doing” – not just talking! Have a terrific day!

It is amazing how difficult it is sometimes to move to the next chapter of your life or a project or a career. You get to a certain point and seem frozen wondering if you move forward or if there is more work to do. The question we ponder is, “When is enough, enough?” Let’s take a look at this today and try to provide some perspective with three examples:

1. We are at the end of the school year. And, for those of you with high school seniors in your family, this represents the end of childhood. It is time for your child to walk across that threshold to adulthood and independence. As parents, we wonder whether we have done enough or if there is still more work for us to do. I remember taking our son to his freshman year of college away from home. We drove the 3 hours to his university, unloaded the car, and said good-bye. The drive home for my wife and me was rather quiet. Finally, my wife commented, “You know, it has taken me 18 years to get good at my job as a mother and now, just like that, it’s over.” (Of course, she had a few more years with our daughters still at home, but this certainly was the beginning of that next chapter.) At times like this you wonder, have I done enough? Did I do my job well? What more could I have done? In the end, though, you have to let go and move on knowing that you still have more work to do, but in another way.

2. I have seen a real tendency in our own workplace for individuals to struggle to move forward in our work. There is always one more question to ask or one more data point to give you more confidence. Or, worse yet, there is that fear of being second-guessed, so you delay a decision or hope that someone else will make the decision. When is enough, enough? There is an old saying, “We’ve cut enough bait, now it is time to fish.” We simply cannot function in a fast-paced, pharmaceutical company when we believe every decision has to be without any risk. The best approach we can use is to determine how much risk exists, understand how much authority we have to make decisions, then move forward. If a decision is yours and others are depending upon you to make a decision, just do it!

3. On a personal note, I intend to retire at the end of the calendar year. When you get to a crossroads in your life, you probably ask yourself many of the same questions that have been going through my mind over the last several months. Have I done enough? Is there something I still need to do? Should I stay in that comfortable rut or take the jump and move forward? I think for me, and likely for us all, that you should get to the point when you can truly say that you’ve done enough… you’ve done your best… and it is time to move to that next chapter, whatever it is.

I guess the bottom line for today is this… It takes courage to move forward from that crossroads. You have to take that first step. And, we must all realize that a day will come when you’ve done enough and it is time to turn the page. Maybe, today is that day when you leave something behind and take that step forward that you know you need to take.

Have a most excellent day! There is a chance that this could be the day… our very best yet!

Today, The Porch simply lists a few quotes that can help us keep ourselves – and life – from becoming too serious. We need to pause at times just to keep our sanity. Much of life can be explained through country and western music and its lyrics, so here is one song quote that sets the stage:

“I’ve always been crazy, but that keeps me from going insane.” – from I’ve always been crazy by Waylon Jennings

So, here you have it:

1. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

2. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden

3. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

4. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain

5. “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

6. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

7. “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” – Robert Benchley

8. “All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner

9. “I have never been hurt by what I have not said.” – Calvin Coolidge

10. “There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.” – Josh Billings

11. “It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” – Jay London

12. “Only the mediocre are always at their best.” – Jean Giraudoux

There it is… today’s daily dozen. Don’t take yourself too seriously today. Have a great one!

Today, The Porch is beginning a new Friday Series. For the next several Fridays we will pay tribute to a different group of individuals that have, can, or are impacting our work and our lives. So, stay tuned for these Friday features.

I have been very blessed in my life because I have had many friends. I’m exceedingly thankful for that. Over the years, I have had many experiences with these friends and have observed friendships that others enjoy and have formulated a number of thoughts and observations that I would like to share with you. You may have observed some of these yourselves. Anyway, take a look and see if you agree:

1. A true friend will always tell others you are a saint, but they know you are not. They just want others to think the very best of you.

2. A real friendship doesn’t require daily communication. But, it does require some level of frequent or regular interaction.

3. A true friend will divulge their favorite place to mushroom hunt, fish, or find bargains… but, you might have to beg them or bribe them to get it (and, a true friend knows exactly what bribe will actually work).

4. A great friend knows what the other person needs without having been asked… and, they will do what they can to meet that need.

5. A great friend knows your heart – your passions, your goals, your hopes, your hurts – and wants only the best that life can bring to you.

6. A super friend guards your integrity and will hold you accountable when you step out of line… even if it puts your friendship at risk.

7. A great friend knows that someday, one of you will be standing before the casket of the other with a mixture of tears and smiles wishing for one more chance to say good-bye. And, because they know this, they cherish the time they have with each other now.

8. Thoughts of a wonderful friend can make you laugh out loud when you are alone in your thoughts.

9. A great friend encourages you, not just when you are down, but to keep you from becoming that way.

10. Love is a part of every friendship, even if that word is never or rarely spoken.

11. An excellent friend knows just how far they can go razzing you before you cross the line… and, that friend can go farther toward that line than anyone else.

12. A true friend knows more about you than casual friends; they know your spouse’s name, how many kids you have, your birthday, and what bugs you and they are always willing to listen.

13. A fabulous friend will loan you their pick-up truck, help you do projects at home, pick you up from the car repair shop, and anything else they can do to serve you, and, they usually do this without hesitation or, possibly, without you asking.

14. Food is a critical element of every great friendship.

15. A real friend is one that knows they are part of your life and is never considered an intruder or annoyance.

16. A fun friend is one that can laugh with you just as loudly and often as they laugh at you – in short, a great friend is a fun friend.

17. A loyal friend is one that will simply not allow you to feel lonely.

18. A good friend always has some dirt on you they threaten to share… but, they never do.

19. Friendship is much like a special plant – it requires regular nourishment and lots of sunshine – when it gets both, it flourishes beyond what you could imagine.

20. A great friend will put their job on the line or their life on hold to help a friend in need or one in distress.

21. A wonderful friend will not let you get away with your lofty talk or “spin” – they know who you really are.

22. Over 90% of your “friends” on LinkedIn or Facebook aren’t really your friends at all.

23. A real friend is not ashamed to say they will think of you or pray for you – and, you would and often do the same for them.

24. A real friend won’t let their friend root for the Cubs…ever, or under any circumstances.

25. Those real and true friends are those that, when you look back over your life, put a smile on your face and made this life worth living.

So, to my real, great, loyal, wonderful and fabulous friends, thanks! This is a tribute to you and good friends everywhere that we all enjoy. Take time today to thank someone for being your friend!

Albert Einstein is considered one of the most intelligent individuals in history. Einstein is synonymous with “genius”. Einstein was a German-born theoretical physicist that developed the general theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics (alongside quantum mechanics). His work is also known for its influence on the philosophy of science. Einstein received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics for his “services to theoretical physics”. He had more than 300 scientific papers published along with over 150 non-scientific works. He was truly one of the intellectual giants of the 20th century.

However, Einstein also had a human, practical side to him. He once said, “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” He is also attributed with, “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” You can see that he understood that our purpose is not our own, but to add value to others. However, today, The Porch will focus on another, less known Einstein quote that illustrates today key point… proper focus is essential for doing anything well. This is the key quote for today:

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” – Albert Einstein –

Einstein is perfectly illustrating the need to focus on the job at hand, or risk doing it poorly. How many times have you personally tried to answer e-mail messages, write reports, or do something else important while on a conference call? By ensuring that your mind is acutely focused on the key task before you, you greatly increase the probability of doing it well… the first time!

Don’t forget Einstein’s words of wisdom and advice when it comes to focus! Have a “relatively” great day! Perhaps, you will take a “quantum” leap forward in your life this very day!

I first met Rudy on Christmas Eve in 2003. My wife bought me a short-haired miniature dachshund puppy for a Christmas present that year and surprised me with a delivery to the door. She did everything on the sly and completely surprised me! Rudy was a great dog. He always wanted to be on my lap when at home and took great pride in finding and killing moles from the yard. He was great with small children and learned quickly to stay close to home. He was a true joy from that first day he came into our home.

Yet, as often happens with dachshunds, Rudy started having back problems when he was only seven years old. We tried several treatments suggested by veterinarians, tried keeping him quiet to allow healing, tried medications, etc. However, as much as we tried, nothing made him better. Eventually, his back became so difficult that we could tell he was in pain most of the time. In the end, he couldn’t even go outside to the restroom himself… we had to carry him to the grass to allow him to do his business. Our veterinarian told us that he was indeed in pain and there was nothing more we could do. The humane thing was to allow him to be euthanized. The final decision was mine, of course. I hated seeing him in that condition, but he had been my special friend for seven years. My wife offered to take him for his final ride to the veterinarian, but only when I gave her the call. I remember that day, knowing that I needed to call, but simply not being able. Making that final call was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. I can honestly barely write this even now.

I have heard many individuals say, including another just recently, that they could never having another dog once they lost that special one. They just cannot put themselves through that kind of loss again. That is a legitimate opinion. Knowing that losing a special dog is one of life’s most difficult experiences. However, you have heard the quote, “It is better having loved and lost than never having loved at all.” If every decision we make in life is one to avoid a potential negative, just think of all the things we might have missed. For example, I did get another dachshund. This one is a little long-haired girl named Chloe. Chloe is even more special than Rudy, if that is possible. No one that has ever met Chloe has not asked to be on the list if we ever decided we couldn’t keep her. She is friendly with everyone, is a true lapdog, and is nearly a perfect pet companion. Had I not been open to love another dog, I would have missed the experience with Chloe. Had I not taken a chance, I would have missed on many blessings from this little girl.

Our lives and our work involves many decisions regarding risk. We could decide to get into our rut and stay there forever, but, in the process, potentially miss relationships, rewards, or experiences that may only come once. We could avoid any risk of loss, or disappointment, or heartbreak. But, by avoiding all risk, our lives are less rich and, likely, less enjoyable. Sometimes, despite the risks, we just have to go for it!

Don’t miss something special today or this week or this year just because of a fear of disappointment or heartbreak. Be bold and courageous! We only have one chance at life, so it is worth taking a chance, now and then.

Have a terrific day. I do believe, this has a chance to be one of our best yet!

Between white and black, there are many different shades of gray.  Some are very close to black, while others are closer to white.  But, in reality, there is much more “gray” than black and white combined.  In our world, life offers a similar amount of gray; that is, not all of life’s decisions are clearly yes or no, go or stay, or go right instead of left.

So, how do we navigate between these two extremes? How do we do the right thing in the face of ambiguity?  How can we satisfy both the “go” without disappointing the “stay?”

The bottom line… how can we know which path to take when we navigate in those gray areas?  Here are some things to consider when driving to those key decisions:

1. Legal or moral standards – Is it clear that there is a direction that clearly meets a “legal or moral standard” or an approach considered “acceptable” that should dictate our decision?  If so, we must follow that pre-determined pathway on decisions.  I have often found that making key decisions ahead of time can circumvent the pressure to make a black/white decision in the pressure of a moment.  Having certain key decisions pre-made can eliminate anxiety in the pressure of that moment.
2. Risk – Is it possible that our decision, if wrong, could adversely impact a us or someone else?  If so, we must use extreme caution.  For example, though an issue could potentially be a safety risk, if we have systems, precautions, or barriers that would remove, detect, or otherwise prevent harm, the overall risk may be small.
3. Mitigation of risks – If a potential decision poses risks, are there ways to mitigate or remove those risks or alter them from significant to minor?  To a large extent, the smaller we can make a risk, the less gray involved in the decision.
4. Severity of a wrong decision – Our decisions must consider the potential impact of a wrong decision.  What if I’m wrong? What if this goes totally the wrong direction? Assessing this possibility and the worst-case scenario may lead you to take a less risky pathway.
5. Input of others – Sometimes, it is good to involve the experience of others to make key decisions.  The wisdom of someone that has faced a similar decision is invaluable in helping us choose the right path. Involving them in “gray zone” discussions can help provide clarity for the final decision.  Including others is a sign of strength and confidence, not a sign of weakness.  So, please feel open to asking another, “This is what I am thinking on this issue.  Am I missing anything or have you ever experienced a similar event?  How did you handle it?”  There is nothing at all wrong with this approach.
6. Red-face test – Sometimes, you can make a strong case about an issue that you feel strongly that you can defend.  However, you realize that the issues are so significant that it is better to simply not proceed.  Though you feel you can justify your decision, the potential “optics” of a wrong choice are too severe.  In short, can you look yourself in the mirror and feel you made the right decision even if it goes wrong?

Certainly, these will not help shift every gray situation to black or white, but they can help you filter the issues and point you in the right direction.   By applying experience, clear rationale, risk assessment, and soliciting the input of others, we can often clarify most of the gray we face.

Have a terrific day!

 

Three examples from history:

1. Richard Nixon was the 37th President of the United States, one of only 44 individuals in history to achieve this office. His career was one that few can match. However, his legacy is not his political career or his contributions to society. Nixon resigned from office in disgrace and will forever be known for embarrassing his country by his illegal actions as President.

2. Pete Rose is not in Baseball’s Hall of Fame despite having more hits, at bats, singles, games played, and times on base than any player in the history of the game. Rose’s legacy is not his great career as a baseball player. He is now known as the greatest player in history NOT in the Hall of Fame. Rose bet on baseball games. Thus, he has been banned from anything related to the game. His legacy is his gambling, not his ability or his contributions to baseball.

3. Alfred Nobel was the inventor of dynamite and he held 355 patents. In 1888 Alfred’s brother Ludwig died while visiting Cannes and a French newspaper erroneously published Alfred’s obituary. It condemned him for his invention of dynamite and is said to have brought about his decision to leave a better legacy after his death. The obituary stated, Le marchand de la mort est mort (“The merchant of death is dead”) and went on to say, “Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.” Alfred (who never had a wife or children) was disappointed with what he read and concerned with how he would be remembered. On November 27, 1895, at the Swedish-Norwegian Club in Paris, Nobel signed his last will and testament and set aside the bulk of his estate to establish the Nobel Prizes, to be awarded annually without distinction of nationality.

You can see from these examples that an individual’s legacy is often determined by a single act or a very brief time in their lives. Despite all that these three individuals did in their discipline over the course of most of their lives, they are remembered for a few simple actions (good for Nobel; not so good for Nixon and Rose).

In other words, how do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be remembered as that individual that did one truly great thing (or stupid thing), or as one that lived and worked consistently, enjoyed many friends, laughed often, loved family, and served others cheerfully. Someone once said, “Trust may take a lifetime to earn, but it can be destroyed in one brief moment.” Why take a chance of destroying that which you have worked so hard and long to earn?

 

Have a stunning day!

 

(a) Concepts borrowed from a sermon by Dr. Steve Dighton given at First Baptist Church of O’Fallon, Missouri, on April 17, 2016.

On the last two Fridays, we looked at the first two of three key values: Integrity and Service. Today, we look at the third of these… Quality.

Quality can be defined in several ways:

· For a product or item, it means conformance to specifications, fitness for use, or attaining the level of performance required

· For a person, it means a level of satisfaction, contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, fulfillment, or meaning

· For an activity, it means that it is something attainable, provides value, but could have a cost associated with it

So, summed up, we might define quality as that level of fitness that provides a satisfying, enjoyable, or meaningful experience. When we carve up this concept, there are five key elements of Quality that could be called “critical factors.” Let’s take a look at each:

1. Attainment of a standard or expectation – Any definition of quality must include some element of calibration against a standard or some level of user expectation. One product is deemed a quality product when compared to another. One car is deemed quality because of its performance history compared to other cars. An individual is deemed a quality person when their life is judged against others or when the individual simply deems it so. A product has achieved a level of quality because it conforms to specifications or is deemed fit for its intended use. So, quality is always an attribute that is relative to other similar products, activities, or person.

2. Provides meaningful intrinsic value – Anything of quality provides value to the user, recipient, or observer. Often, that value is not something tangible, but is intrinsic. Another way of expressing this is to say that quality brings pleasure or satisfaction that might not be measurable, but is experienced, nonetheless. For example, a quality life might not be measurable, but is certainly felt and experienced by the person and those around him/her.

3. Provides a satisfactory or pleasurable experience – When I think of something of quality, I always get a positive or satisfying sensation. For example, when you think of a “quality” song, book, vacation, product, person, or experience, don’t you almost feel a smile bubbling up inside you? Who can’t smile when you think of a “quality” piece of pie with a scoop of ice cream on the side? Quality is a positive, satisfying, or pleasurable attribute that we should seek in everything we do, buy, or experience.

4. Is attainable with a specified level of effort – Some of quality should be something attainable, though with some effort exerted. Quality can be cheap and easy (e.g., beautiful sunset, laughter of a child, or holding hands with your spouse), but it may include a cost (e.g., training to run a marathon that you complete, learning and using a second language for the first time, achieving your lifetime best score in golf, etc.) worth paying.

5. Provides a benefit greater than the associated cost – Philip Crosby once wrote a book called Quality is Free. In it, he states that the value provided by top quality always offsets the price paid to achieve it. By spending the time, cost, or effort to achieve something of quality, we always get a payback. Certainly, there is a limit to this in the business world – no buyer of generics products will pay more to get high-gloss graphic photos on the carton that will be thrown away, for example. However, in my cases in business and in our personal lives, striving for and attaining something of quality is worth the cost and sacrifice paid to achieve it.

In our business, Quality of our products, our service, or the combination of the two often differentiates us from all the rest. In our personal lives, the quality of our life is never measured purely in the material success we attain, but by our family, our friends, and by the impact we have in the lives of others.

What does a Quality product look like? A Quality product:

· Provides more value than its competitors

· Is more satisfying to consumers than its competitors

· Meets the needs of the user

· Provides value (that is, the combination of benefit and cost) to the user/consumer/patient

· Does what it purports to do

What does a Quality activity look like? A Quality activity:

· Provides satisfaction or enjoyment

· Is memorable

· Is fun

· Makes a difference to someone

· Is better than other similar activities

What does a Quality life look like? A Quality life:

· Is one that makes a difference in the lives of others

· Is typified by service (a giver, not a taker)

· Loves well, laughs often, and leaves a mark

· Contributes to a better company, a better family, a better society, and a better neighborhood

· Exhibits integrity

These examples are only a few of the things that could be said about quality. It is so much more than you could convey on paper. However, we should desire quality in what we do, what we buy, and how we live. Without question, Quality is one of those character attributes and values that differentiate. Why accept anything less?