It is really easy to find ways to criticize what others do. After all, most people just aren’t as smart, talented, efficient, effective, or inspiring as we think they should be.  When we look at those that do things wrong, perhaps, we are look at the wrong people.  Let me summarize this with what I think might be an original quote:

“Don’t look at those doing it wrong to criticize them, but watch those doing it right to copy them.”

Instead of looking at those that do it wrong (with a view to criticize them), it is much better to watch those doing it right (in order to improve ourselves). We need to shift who we watch… away from those that provide a negative example, but to those that provide a positive example.  We need to find someone we believe is doing the right things in the right way.  Then, we need to emulate or copy them.  For example, great leaders provide a model that we should utilize to make our own leadership stronger.

The challenge is this… Focus on those that do things well. Ask yourself what makes that person excel.  Then, copy it.  Why try to re-invent the wheel?  Use those positive role models to provide a pattern that can make you better.  Keep your focus away from those that merely provide fodder for criticism.  Let’s strive to learn from each other.

Have an outstanding day! This could be the day we someday call “our best day yet.”

I ran across an article published just this week that I thought was very interesting. It was written by Nathan Garbig and I thought it is thought-provoking.  (It can be found on Cincinnati.com and was published 8/2/16.)

Garbig describes a job he held in which his only responsibility was to hold up a sign in a crowded public place that said something outrageously positive.  His signs said things like, “You mean more to me than you think.”  Or, “I want to make you proud.”  Or, “I know how bright you shine, even when you don’t know it.”

Garbig talks about the impact these simple signs made to people.  He had individuals stop in traffic that said his sign changed the entire conversation (e.g., argument) she was having with her daughter.  Another said it made him this about whether he was making his family proud.  Another said it made him realize how rarely he told his loved ones how much they mean to him.

Over the course of this “Things you shouldn’t wait to say” campaign, many individuals were clearly impacted.  To some, they related that it changed their lives.  A simple message encouraging positive thoughts and hope had changed the lives of people he didn’t even know!

Is today the day you need to tell someone how much they mean to you?  Is it time to go outside your comfort zone to express something to someone else before it is too late?

Have I told you, those important individuals in my life, lately, “You mean more to me than you could ever know!”? Well, you do!  Think about the message here… you might change someone’s world by simply expressing a positive comment or by sharing a genuine feeling.  Why not give it a try?

Have a fabulous day! I am thankful to be on this journey of life with you!

Everyone thinks they work well with others.   But, there are some individuals that we simply would rather not have on our teams or that we dread having to deal with on projects.  Some individuals we simply don’t trust.  We have talked many times about trust and the important place is holds.  Teams perform much better when individuals treat each other.  Collaboration is better when trust is high.  Our relationships with our boss and our colleagues are better when trust is foundational.  Our neighborhoods are happier when neighbors trust neighbors.  So, if trust is so important, what are those key things you can do to enhance trust?  What makes others trust you?

I have assembled my “Top 10” list for enhancing trust. You may have other elements you can add, but if we all did these things well, I think our level of trust would certainly increase.

Ten things that make others trust you

1. You do what you say you’ll do – Bottom line… unless you do what you say you’ll do, you cannot expect to be trusted.
2. You honestly care about others – Someone has said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Trust almost always includes a level of personal care or interest.
3. You treat others with respect – When others see you disrespect others (even when they are away), they will simply not trust you.
4. You demonstrate integrity – When you always do the right things in the right way, you earn credibility that converts to trust.
5. You remain calm in the face of stressful situations – It is difficult to trust someone that panics in the face of stress.
6. You have been reliable in the past – When you have a track record of trustworthiness, individuals typically give you some “trust room” in the future.
7. You listen more than you talk – In general, trust fades the more you talk.
8. You put others first – Trust grows when you are seen serving others rather than expecting others to serve you.
9. You are an optimist – We love to follow and trust someone that remains optimistic even when faced with challenges.
10. You relate with others – Individuals often place more trust in individuals that have gone through or that can relate with their station in life.

What do you think? How are you doing with these?  Would you trust yourself?  Should others trust you?

Thanks for what you do. Today could be one of our best yet… there is still a chance!

 

 

Today, we look at the next in our series based on the 1965 song by The Byrds called Turn! Turn! Turn! .  You will recall that we looked at “a time to dance” the last time.  Today, we look at the theme:

  “A time to weep and a time to laugh”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox once said, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.” Everyone is attracted to fun, laughter, and excitement.  Likewise, when someone is going through a difficult spell or a time of weeping, many people tend to shy away.  Yet, both emotions are important and, in fact, are critical to a well-balance individual.  Too far on one side or the other can be a concern, however.

My wife’s grandmother was a strong farm woman. She was loving and compassionate and made the very best cookies of anyone I have ever known!  However, she also tended to say after the loss of a loved one, “We should all mourn for three days, but after that, we have a job to do and people that depend upon us, so pick yourself up and get to the new normal.”  She was right.  There is a time to weep and mourn.  And, there is a time to laugh.  We all just need to find that balance that works.

I found a few words of wisdom from others on this subject and felt you might benefit from one or more of these. Hopefully, if you are out-of-balance, this will help restore it:

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” ― Steve Martin

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” ― Mark Twain

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” ― Charles M. Schulz

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” ― E.B. White

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” ― Dr. Seuss

I hope today that none of you is in a time of weeping. If you need a hand to help pick you up, lean on a friend or coworker or family member or give me a call.  We need to be there when one goes through a tough spot.  These times pass, but they can wound our very soul, if we allow it.

Thanks for all you do and do something to make this a “best day yet” for someone else! Have a fantastic day!

 

There is an old story that I have heard that I will re-tell in my own words:

The Wise Old Man teaches the Fool

There was once a wise old man living on the mountain. This man could answer correctly any question posed to him.  He was remarkable, especially because this was in the days before the internet was invented.  One day, a young man in town thought he would fool the Old Man.  He decided to ask the Old Man a question that he couldn’t possibly answer correctly.  So, he found a baby bird.  His plan was to carry the bird to the Old Man and ask, “Is the bird in my hand dead or alive?”  If the Old Man answered, “It is alive,” he would squeeze it to death and prove the Old Man wrong.  If the Old Man answered, “It is dead,” he would simply open his hand and show the lively bird.

He took the bird in his hand to the Old Man. He held the bird cupped in his hands not visible to the Old Man.  He asked the Old Man, “Is the bird in my hand alive or dead?”  The wise Old Man pondered this question for a moment, then answered, “It is whatever you want it to be.”  The Old Man proved his wisdom and the Fool went away dejected.

In many ways, the wisdom of the wise Old Man also applies to our life or our careers, “It is whatever we want it to be.” We hold the answer in our own hands.  We will spend our lives as a giver or a taker?  Is our focus to better the lives of others or to enhance ourselves?  Do we care more about what happens to us or to what happens to others?  Are we sacrificing for others or expecting others to sacrifice only for us?  The answer to each of these questions is completely within our own hands.

The same applies to our careers. Are we controlling our own career destiny or relying upon others to carry us along?  Are we enhancing our skills and abilities to make us more valuable as employees or simply resting on our laurels?  Are we investing in the careers of others or do we expect all the investments to come in our direction?  Are you chasing a title or seeking adventure, challenges, or fulfillment?

Happiness, satisfaction, enjoyment, hope, and motivation are completely within our own grasp. None of these should depend upon anyone else.  Stop waiting for others to make you happy… you hold that in your own hands.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you can or cannot, you are right.” I would enhance that and say, “Whether you believe your life or career can be happy and satisfying or not, you are right.”  Take charge of our own happiness and satisfaction… starting today!

Have a great and enjoyable day! Do what you can to make this day special for someone else!

 

We often try to make life much more complex than it needs to be.  Devices, intended to simplify our lives, consume us.  We have more “time saving” things in our lives now than ever, yet we are busier.  If you are like me, every project at home is harder or more complex than I thought it would be.  Let me illustrate with one of my favorite recipes.

Summertime is a great time for get-togethers with family and friends.  But, when you are invited to attend one, the same problem arises that might even take the fun edge off the event, “What shall we take?  Not everyone likes that.  How will we keep it warm/cold until we get there?  What if someone else brings it?  Isn’t he allergic to it?”  The questions keep coming until we give up and take something we didn’t want to take that others like less that we hoped.

I am personally for keeping life simple.  So, when you are asked to attend one of these summer events (especially one that I’ll also be attending), try this one (this has been in our family for generations – it was improved from one obtained from others – the originator is unknown):

M&M Casserole

Ingredients:

• One large bag of Regular M&M’s

• One large bag of Peanut M&M’s

• One large bag of Almond M&M’s

 

Recipe:

• Carefully open the bag of Regular M&M’s.  Pour approximately one-half of the bag into a sealable container.

• Carefully open the bag of Peanut M&M’s.  Add approximately one-half of the bag to the container with the Regular M&M’s.  Mix carefully.

• Allow mixture to sit undisturbed for one minute at room temperature.

• Carefully open the bag of Almond M&M’s.  Add approximately one-half of the bag to the mixture.  Mix carefully.

 

• (Note: Do not use any M&M that falls from the bags onto the floor or countertop.  If you dare, you may eat these.)

• Refrigerate the mixture for about one minute.  Do not over-cool!

• Remove the mixture and add all remaining M&M’s from the bags.  Use a wooden spoon (not your bare fingers) to mix this carefully. 

• With minimal disturbance to the mixture, transfer all contents into your chosen serving bowl.  Cautiously scrape the sides of the mixing bowl to remove all ingredients.

• Serve at room temperature.

Why do we make our lives more complex than needed when we could accomplish the exact same thing in the most simple fashion possible?  This recipe is always a hit anywhere we take it for any occasion.  Why worry about doing anything else?

The same often holds true in other aspects of our lives or work.  We overthink the issues, then “complexify” matters by making it harder, rather than simpler.  For example, I have actually seen situations in which 3 or more forms are needed to accomplish something that could have been done in less than one minute!  We need to get in the habit of asking, “How can I accomplish that task in the best, yet most simple manner?”  And, we should always be on the look-out for activities that add no value at all.We can also simplify our lives be de-cluttering — eliminating both the figurative and literal junk in our lives.  The simple approach is often the best approach.Thanks for making a difference in the lives of others.  Think today about how you can make your life simpler and better.  Have a fabulous day!

 

 

I was recently in one of the most beautiful places in North America. Everywhere I looked, there was indescribable beauty.  Early in the trip, I took lots of photos because I just was not used to the scenery I was seeing.  Later on in the trip, the beauty had become almost commonplace.  In less than a week, the beauty had become so common that I failed any longer to see it.  I was beginning to take the beauty for granted.  In fact, I spoke with a number of local residents.  This beauty was all they had ever known.  Indeed, they appreciated the thousands of tourists that visited their area, but they did not see the wonder of their own homeland around them.  They took the beauty for granted.

It is easy to become so familiar with what we have that we eventually fail to realize how blessed we really are. Today, let’s take a fresh look at those things we have that we might take for granted… things we might fail to really appreciate.

Do you really appreciate:

• The lifestyle we have – Do you realize that even the poorest and most desperate individuals in our society are better off than over 90% of the world’s population?
• A supporting and loving spouse – For those of us blessed with a supporting spouse, do we express our appreciation and thankfulness daily?
• The freedom we have to pursue our own destiny – Many in the world today do not have the freedoms we have in the developed world
• Our education – Most of us have been given the ability to pursue the education and skills necessary to contribute to our company
• Our company – Working for a company that provides good personal opportunities and makes a difference to our patients is a privilege and honor
• Life’s basics – I really appreciate air-conditioning during this time of year, but I do take it for granted at times – many other of life’s indulgences that we enjoy every day are easy to take for granted
• Good friends – My life if richer because of my friends
• Our children and grandchildren – I cannot imagine my life without my children and grandchildren
• Great food – I am continually thankful for bacon, blueberries, Snickers bars, chocolate chip cookies, and hamburgers
• Music, art, books, and fun – Do you frequently pause to appreciate these?
• The beauty around us – Each of us can celebrate the uniqueness and beauty of the world around us
• Technology – We often forget how our lives have been enhanced by the technology of our world
• Great leaders, mentors, teachers, coaches – Please don’t take for granted those individuals that have and routinely do invest in your own life and career.

Finally, I appreciate and am thankful for time. We are promised only today. Are you in the habit of appreciating and being thankful for each new day?Have you become immune to those blessings around you every day? Do you live your life in appreciation? Are you thankful for those people in your life that have made a difference to you? Please don’t become so used to the wonder around you that you fail to appreciate it.Thanks to you for making this a better place. Have a fantastic day!

Over the last few months, I have heard a number of coworkers describe their own personal career journey. Some have worked only at one company.  Some have worked at 5+ companies.  Some in plants, some corporate, some both.  Many have relocated their families for advancement opportunities.  It is interesting to see that every person has a unique journey.  However, there is one thing that every single person has mentioned as a key element of their career success… networking!  So, I thought it might be good today to remind you of your networking “to do” list that can help ensure you remain in the loop.

Today’s Networking “To Do” List

• Contact one old boss or mentor to reconnect via e-mail or phone – you might even consider doing this by thanking that person for what they have done for you in the past, such as “I was just thinking about you and felt I needed to call and just say thanks for the help and guidance you gave me in the past…”

• Ensure that your LinkedIn profile is up-to-date – you might even post a comment occasionally – this will ensure that all your contacts see your name and remember you

• Connect with 5 new individuals on LinkedIn – check the “others you might know” area

• Plan a lunch out with someone in a quiet place where you can discuss events, career activities/challenges, etc.

• Find an industry meeting that you can attend – many such events occur locally at little cost – these can provide great opportunities for meeting new individuals

• If you don’t have a mentor, begin thinking about someone you admire or in an area that you would like to know more about – plot a meeting with that person to explore mentoring opportunities

• Do something with old friends – we need to be intentional about staying close to friends – they provide a safety net for us when times get rough, so we need to nurture those relationships often

 

By doing these things, you can stay connected with your expanding network of individuals.

Thanks for doing something today to make it a better day for someone else! And, have a great one yourself!

 

 

Today, we look at the next in our series based on the 1965 song by The Byrds called Turn! Turn! Turn!  You will recall that we looked at “a time to break down, and a time to build up” the last time.  Today, we look at the theme:

“A time to dance”

There is a song by Garth Brooks called The Dance that is meaningful to me.  The song talks primarily about a relationship, but it is an allegory on life.  The key lyrics are:

“Yes, my life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.” (from The Dance, by Garth Brooks – the entire song can be heard at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpwdwbO1uvM)

The main message of the song is that we can go through life and take no risks (e.g., miss the pain), but, in doing so, we would miss much of the beauty and wonder that life can offer (e.g., miss the dance). To me, this is so true!  Sure, we can “play it safe” and avoid the possibility of being hurt.  However, you may miss experiences or learning that which makes life what it should be.  Someone once said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”  Same message, same principle.

When I look back on my life, I think of several great examples of this. However, let me highlight just one today to illustrate this principle.  Previously, I worked for a company that had many problems.  And, as a result, the experience for me was very difficult.  This job required a move for my family and we commuted 8 hours each way for 89 weeks to fulfill a promise to my daughter.  So, the commute was difficult.  On top of this, I felt challenged every day in my work.  Making progress was slow.  Freedom to operate was limited.  I hated being micromanaged.  I just felt every night going home to an empty apartment or house that the whole thing was a mistake.  However, I learned every day during this experience.  Now, I realize that had a chosen the safe route, that is, had I chosen to not take this position, I would have missed out on much, such as:

• Learning positive ways to treat others, elicit collaboration, and get things done in the face of difficulty
• Learning just what I was capable of doing – had I not taken this role, I would not have understood the limits of my own capabilities
• Demonstrating to my children that, no matter how difficult the challenge, we must honor our word and our commitment – the challenge of commuting for this long proved to them something that they could never have learned just from my words, and, finally…
• I would never have met many individuals I now consider my dearest friends – this “good” in my life has been worth every bit of the “bad times” I experienced in this difficult position

Had I taken the safe route, I may have avoided some pain, but I certainly would have missed out on the “dance” that has brought such joy and reward to my life.

Yes, there is a time to dance and, in reality, we may be dancing right now. We may look back on today as “the good times” that represent the time of dancing in our lives.  When you consider it that way, today may just be a day to rejoice and be thankful for what we have.  We think it might last forever, but it won’t.

Thanks for what you do to enhance the lives of those around you. Have a great day!  You may look back someday and talk about today’s dance… and smile.

 

As I have said previously, my wife and I recently took our first cruise. We enjoyed it very much.  One of the things, however, that was most impressive was how the employees stayed “on their game” all day every day.  These employees typically do the same thing every day for nine months without a day off.  Yet, they remain positive, cooperative, and make it fun every day.  Most impressive was the Cruise Director, the guy in charge of all the entertainment all week.  He was up and “on his game” from around 6am when he taped his daily what’s-happening-today TV program to the last show around midnight.  He was everywhere and 100% positive every minute.  How does he do that?  What can keep an individual “on top of his/her game” no matter what is happening in their personal life and no matter how they feel?

Not that I am an expert on this subject because I know I am not always “on my game”, but I can think of several things that matter:

Our Positivity Index: Staying positive even when you don’t feel like it

Perpetually positive people:

1. Live their lives with a sense of gratitude – Positive people know they are blessed. They know that, relatively speaking, things are good. They appreciate what they have and the opportunities they have been given. Thus, they want to pay something back to others. They want others to experience the appreciation they feel.
2. Positive people realize that they have a responsibility to others – Thus, they know that some days they simply have to crunch their way through it. Those individuals working on the cruise ship are away from their families for nine months. Certainly, there are days when they are homesick and miss their families. Yet, they realize that those very people they miss are depending upon them to work and do a great job. The same holds for us… some days we just have to get through and do our best doing it.
3. Have the ability to motivate themselves – Positive people have an internal positivity thermostat that they control. They have that ability to remain positive no matter the circumstances. Others require ongoing encouragement to remain positive. Knowing what makes and keeps us positive is important for setting our personal positivity thermostat.
4. Surround themselves with positive people – Positive people attract and keep company with other positive people. Negative people challenge us and tend to drive us down. Thus, positive people know this and seek to surround themselves with others that can keep a positive outlook.
5. Live to add value to others – Positive people approach each day wondering what they can do to make life better for someone else. They look at each day as a challenge – what will happen and who will cross my path that I can help? How can I turn this negative day into a positive one for someone else? When you approach a day in this manner, you will be amazed at how your outlook can change.
6. Can see the big picture – Positive people understand that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Thus, they tend to keep those minor, small nuisances of life in proper perspective and focus on the longer-term. Small things do not drag them down. They can quickly dismiss setbacks and reset their focus.
7. Prioritize well – Positive people organize their lives in a way that minimizes the impact of a busy schedule, deadlines, and last-minute issues. These tend to shift us toward the negative. By keeping the big things big and the small things small, they maintain a more positive outlook.
8. Focus on what they can control – Positive people know that there are some things they can control and others which they cannot. They have a way of compartmentalizing these and, thus, do not focus on what they cannot control. When you focus on those things under your control, you allow yourself more time to get things done and maintain your “chin up.”
9. Celebrate milestones – Positive people know that they need to pause and celebrate key milestones. They maintain a positive outlook simply because they spend time recognizing that hard-won victories deserve our attention. When you are working toward a target, you maintain the feeling that you are making progress and achieving successes along the way.
10. Take care of themselves – Positive people know that they must take care of themselves to remain positive. Getting enough sleep, getting regular exercise, eating well, taking time away to refresh… all of these are important to allow us to reset and refocus.

So, which of these cause you to struggle the most? Which of these can you shift toward a more positive outlook?  If we assume that the sum total of these ten items in our lives result in our own personal “Positivity Index”, improving in one or two of these can have a favorable impact on our overall positivity.  Thus, if we can improve even in one or two of these, our outlook should be impacted.  I’m sure the opposite is also true.

Look around. Who in your world has a high “Positivity Index”?  What keeps them that way?  How can you become more like that?

Thanks for what you do to make the world a better place! Have a great day today!  Remember, it could still be our very best yet!  There is still a chance.